When It All Comes Together

Friday, I left Timothy at home with Greg while I took Mam-ma Polly to the beauty shop and did her grocery shopping - and ours.  I was also buying food to prepare for a Mother's Day lunch for everyone yesterday... chicken, baked potatoes, salad, cole slaw, broccoli/cauliflower and cheese, rolls, and fresh strawberries and brownies or blueberry muffins with yogurt cheese for dessert.  In my grocery cart, I had diapers and bottle liners... and Ensure for my grandmother... both ends of the spectrum!Yesterday, as we enjoyed our lunch, gifts and cards, and the "Timothy floor show," I looked at five generations represented... a new mother (Jasmine), my sister's first Mother's Day as a grandmother, two great-grandmothers - my mom and Greg's mom, and a great-great-grandmother (Mam-ma Polly).  Jasmine even brought me a "Mother's Day" card and acknowledge me as an "other mother" to her and Timothy.

As I watched my grandmother playing with Timmy - and him giving her kisses - it all came together for me.  Yes, this is a sandwich - and a wild and crazy one at times - but this is also a time to treasure.  I hope Mam-ma lives long enough for Timmy to truly remember her... but if not, we'll give him memories to cherish via photos, stories and more.  Meanwhile, it was a very good day in our house to celebrate mothers.Pictured below...

• My mother-in-law, known to Timmy as "Grandma Elaine."
• My sister, my mom, and her husband.
• Jasmine and Timothy
• Timothy with Mam-ma Polly and Grandma Elaine
• Timothy with Grandma Elaine
• Timothy and Mam-ma - his great-great-grandmother
• Kisses for Mam-ma Polly

I Can't Get No Satisfaction...

I made a trip to the medical supply store to try and get my grandmother's "wobbly" walker fitted with new legs to replace the one I ran over last week at the beauty shop.  The ladies were so nice there.  They said, "Oh, this has happened before."  In fact, the woman in charge said that she could fix up the "old" walker, but it would cost about $55, and the walker itself was a little unsteady, and she did not recommend fixing it.  What happens to these walkers?  Just a few months ago, it was outfitted with the 360-degree wheels for outside use and declared safe... now it's unsteady? 

Anyway, the woman went on to tell me that she thought we could qualify for a new walker covered by Medicare, since it has been two years since Mam-ma last got a new one.  Apparently these walkers are not designed to last very long, whether you run over them or they are driven around the blocks and through the stores and churches by little 97-year-old ladies!  I had to sign a waiver saying that I would pay the $130, if Medicare will not authorize the walker.  I did that. 

I also told the lady that Mam-ma had seen some white, flat tips on her friend's walker last Friday, and she had a fit over them - wanted some for HER walker... and she wanted BIG wheels.  The lady said the tips were called "gliders," and she had some... but they would be an extra $19.  I told her to put them on the new walker.  She fixed me up with the gliders and BIG wheels.

I took the walker to Mam-ma's, along with a box that contained the plain rubber tips that had been exchanged... and I took back the "old" walker, too.  I got Mam-ma to come out into the garage, and I showed her the brand spanking new walker - complete with white glider tips.  I have to admit, I was feeling pretty proud of my efforts!  Mam-ma looked the walker over and said... "Well... (long pause)... that's okay."  Okay?  What did she mean, "Okay?"  She harrumphed and said, "Well, it'll be okay if I don't stub my toe on them tips.  Gerry said she had to watch out for that."  Now, for the record, I never heard our little friend say a word about those tips causing her to stub her toe.  But I told Mam-ma..."If you decide you don't like them, we can take them off and put on the original rubber tips.  And if you wear them out on the concrete, we have the other tips in this box." She replied in a pitiful tone, "No... that's okay."

I parked the walkers, put the extra legs/tips in her closet, and let it go.  Clearly, there will be no satisfaction with the walker situation, regardless of what we get.  And that is useful information for the future. Meanwhile, we are garnering an arsenal of old, useless walkers - if anyone needs parts, we probably have 'em!

Fodder for the Blog

You can't make these things up.  Today, I ran over Mam-ma's walker!  The day had been going fairly well.  I had run errands for myself, then picked up Mam-ma and dropped her off at the hairdresser's.  She didn't need many groceries, so I decided to buy mine at the same time.  That, too, went smoothly.  I even stopped at the meat market for some steaks for our dinner.

When I returned to the hairdresser's, Mam-ma was sitting in a chair waiting on me.  The hairdresser was running behind when I left, but somehow she had managed to catch up - and then some.  Also waiting was a little friend of ours - and my birthday buddy - whom I call "Maw Mac."  She will be 92 on our birthday in July.  Maw Mac's daughter Marsha arrived in Maw Mac's Buick, and she parked perpendicular to my vehicle - and part of another - in the street.  So we weren't going anywhere until Maw Mac was loaded.  Marsha walked out with Mam-ma and up the passenger side of my vehicle.  She instructed Maw Mac to follow me around the driver's side of my vehicle, because that would put her in the right spot to get in her back seat.  Both ladies had walkers.

I never gave Mam-ma's walker another thought.  She got into my car.  I showed Marsha and Maw Mac pictures of Timothy, and then Marsha helped her mother into the car.  I got in, and when Marsha had driven away, I backed out of the parking lot.  I knew right away I hit something - but what?  I looked around and there was nothing behind me... and then I realized... the walker!  I stopped and got out, and there it lay, beside Mam-ma's door... warped, flattened along one spot, and ruined.  Mam-ma had folded it up and laid it against the back door on her side of the vehicle.  She NEVER does this.  I always fold and put away her walker.  Had she left it... we would not have hit it.  But it was partly my fault, too for not remembering it.

So I will take another walker that Mam-ma has - the one with the "roly-poly wheels" - and have a new walker outfitted for her on Monday.  She was not the least bit upset, because she is not happy with her current walker situation anyway, and this represents an opportunity for something new.  She had just commented inside the beauty shop that she wished her walker had feet on it like Maw Mac's - some sort of flat contraption I'd never seen before on the back legs.  I'll just have to see what the Medical Supply store can offer us.  I had cold groceries today and it was 80 degrees, humid as the tropics, and stormy, so I was not stopping now.

I rolled into Mam-ma's driveway and parked beside her friend Ruby.  I said, "Wonder what Ruby is up to..." and Mam-ma said, "Well, I'm sure we're going to the grocoery store!"  I had Mam-ma's groceries in the back seat!  Sure enough, we unpacked Mam-ma's groceries (buttermilk, "sweet" milk, orange juice and Three Musketeers) and she grabbed her purse.  I got one of her spare walkers for her, and she said, "Oh, no... I'm not taking that.  I don't take a walker to the store."  Ruby chimed in... "She holds onto my arm to get into the store, and then she pushes a buggy - she doesn't know what to do with that walker in the store."  I just shrugged and said, "Have a good weekend, girls!"  It was all I could do.  I'd bet a dollar to a donut Mam-ma buys more groceries while she is out with Ruby.

Fridays are always an adventure!

Can You See Me Now?

This is a big week for my grandmother.  Thursday night is the annual "Widows Banquet" at her church.  I did not make up this name - they really do call it the "Widow's Banquet."  Each deacon at the First Baptist Church is responsible for the care and nurture of assigned widows.  My grandmother's deacon is wonderful... and he does many very nice things for Mam-ma.  This banquet is always a HUGE deal - as much as the prom is important to any teenager.  We moved Mam-ma's hair appointment to early Thursday, so that her hair will look nice, and she will have plenty of time to rest and dress.  Usually her deacon brings her a corsage, and she wears her nicest outfit.  The church social hall is decorated, the meal is always "delicious," and there is generally live entertainment - usually a musical group.  Mam-ma talks about it for weeks before and afterward.

So Monday, as I sat down to eat a late lunch and visit with my husband and mother-in-law, the phone rang.  Mam-ma wanted to know some details about her funeral.  I explained that everything was taken care of - I had personally spoken to two owners of the funeral home, and all would be handled to her satisfaction.  Then she said, "Well... I want His Eye is on the Sparrow and Beulah Land" (meaning she wants these songs sung at her funeral).  I wrote it down.  I told her I had heard from my mom that she wanted a certain church member to sing Beulah Land after it was sung at another funeral recently.  She said it didn't matter who sang it... and I pointed out she had previously told me she wanted a men's group to sing, and she retorted, "Why, they can't sing Beulah Land!"  I laughed and made notes.  I also asked about the hymns she had told me several months ago she wanted sung.  Now she wants His Eye Is On the Sparrow and Beulah Land.  I told her this was fine - and I would note that today she wants these songs. 

Then I asked, "Are you planning on kicking off any time soon?"  "No," she laughed, "but when you sit here by yourself all alone and think about things, you get to thinking about this."  Later my mom pointed out she doesn't plan to die before the banquet!  Anyway, I tried to console her and reassure her that we would carry out her wishes.

That evening, Mam-ma phoned again.  "Debbie," she said.  "I just sat on my glasses and broke them all to pieces!"  We talked about what she could do - didn't she have another pair that was very similar and close to the same age?  Yes, but she couldn't see out of them (I didn't understand this) and they were "great big."  No, that must be another pair, I told her, but she insisted.  I told her I wasn't sure when I could get there to help her... I was expecting to have the baby the next day and Greg had afternoon appointments.  She said, "Well, that's okay... but I need to be able to see for the banquet."  I pointed out that there would be no way to get new glasses by Thursday.  Maybe these could be repaired.

So Tuesday morning, I called the eye clinic and asked if we coudl come in and see about the glasses.  I dashed to Mam-ma's and collected her.  She was wrapping her glasses in a handkerchief - mangled wire frames with both lenses out - but not broken.  I hoped the girl could repair them.  She thought she could, but there was a piece broken that required a special solder, so we were unable to repair the old set.  New frames were ordered - they will be ready in two weeks!  Mam-ma said, "I can't see out of these others."  The girl checked, and they were misaligned, and she was seeing the bifocal at the same time as the other part, so hopefully that is better now.

We had quite a discussion about whether Medicaid would pay for the glasses.  At first the receptionist said that Medicaid would pay... but when I questioned this, based on past experience, she investigated, and Mam-ma has some sort of "QMB" Medicaid that doesn't cover glasses, apparently... at least not very frequently.  So we will pay $119 - and maybe that is "our" portion for Medicaid - for new frames.  As we left, Mam-ma told the receptionist, "Now I do have Medicaid."  She replied, "Yes ma'am, I know." Under my breath, I told her, "The less Mam-ma knows about how much this is costing, the better."  The woman answered... "I gathered that!"  On the way home, Mam-ma asked, "How much are these glasses gonna cost me?"  I told her around $100 - and that she can afford it.  She always tells me how "broke" she is!

I took Mam-ma home to rest... she had washed her windows yesterday (inside), and she was exhausted. Hopefully she will feel good for Thursday. I got home before Timothy arrived... now he is giving us a workout! Timothy was 11 months old yesterday. My mother reminded me that I was his age when my sister was born! Hmm... an infant and a toddler vs. an infant and a grandmother... there is no "winner" in either of those scenarios! Both have their challenges AND rewards. Some days they are just easier to see.

Spice cake, Michigan apples, and Balance!

Last Friday was a day of juggling and balance!  I ran some errands in the morning, in anticipation of the arrival of Timothy around 12:30 p.m.  When I got home, he was just arriving.  We hurriedly ate a Sonic lunch I had brought home, and then I dashed off to do Mam-ma Polly's errands, leaving Timothy in the capable hands of his Uncle Greg.

Mam-ma's errands were pretty straightforward... I'd already picked up her medications at the pharmacy, so all I had to do was take her to the hairdresser's and grocery shop for both of us while she was there.  She seemed a little addled and forgetful, but nothing too serious.  She had made a spice cake and wanted to share some with us, but when we returned, I was in a hurry, and she forgot, and I got home without any spice cake.

By the time I got home, Timothy was napping (albeit briefly), and Mam-ma was calling to apologize for not remembering the cake.  I assured her it was fine, but she said, sternly, "No, it's not okay... I meant for you to have it."   She said she planned to play dominoes with her friends on Saturday afternoon... that she didn't really feel up to it, but she was going because they didn't have enough players without her.  I assured her she would feel better for having gone.

The next morning, we had not been awake long when Mam-ma called, "I am so sorry I forgot that... I don't know what was wrong with me."  I was not sure what she was talking about, and I told her, and she said, "The spice cake.  I meant for you to have that!"  I told her we had discussed this on Friday, and it really was no big deal.  But it was to her.  So I asked, "Did you make more than you can eat yourself?"  "Well yes," she answered.  I suggested she freeze it and I would get it the next Friday.  She said she guessed she could try this.  So I must remember to ask for the spice cake on the next Friday.

Meanwhile, Timothy was a joy, and our Friday evening and Saturday passed quickly.  On Sunday, his grandmother picked him up around noon... and we entertained company that afternoon.  Getting ready for company and managing a household and a baby is either more of a challenge than one realizes... or I am getting old!  I was very tired.  Timmy didn't sleep well, and we were up late into the night - and slept later in the mornings.  Such is life with a baby!

Timmy returned at noon on Tuesday and stayed until noon on Thursday. We had wonderful spring weather and strolled every day - some days more than once.  Mam-ma has not felt well this week - a stomach bug, we think - so the next errand day may be interesting.  She says she will have a big grocery list (meaning laundry detergent and bleach and such), so we will see. 

One funny thing... last Friday as I returned to Mam-ma's after her hair appointment, I asked about her friend Ruby... how was she doing?  Mam-ma said, "She's fine... we went to Alp's this morning for apples, and she was fine."  Now, Alp's is a grocery store.  I was, at this very moment, unloading groceries for my grandmother from the back of my car!  She said Ruby had gotten some apples at the store that "were delicious - they were Michigan apples."  I am not sure if Michigan apples is a brand name, but surely no apples come from Michigan in March!  At any rate, Ruby had come by and picked up my grandmother Friday morning, and they had gone to the grocery store for apples.  Why they could not also get milk, bread, orange juice and a couple of other things at the same time is beyond me.  But I was not surprised.  Ruby has told me more than once that she and my grandmother grocery shop several times a week.  She is astounded that Mam-ma still has a list of items for me to pick up for her on Fridays.  I'm not surprised at all.  And Friday I may have to search for Michigan apples!

Catching Up...

I guess you could say it's been a quiet two weeks... quiet in comparison to the noted "walker" incident.  I arrived the following Friday to get my grandmother to the hairdresser, and I asked if she was using the "outside" walker.  She harrumphed and said, "YOU try that thing!"  She insisted she couldn't maneuver it and had nearly fallen... and that she wore herself out trying to walk with it.  So I walked the walker out into the street and back, and maybe there is a slight learning curve, since the front wheels rotate 360 degrees, but the idea is to have something more flexible if she hits a bump and not rigid front wheels that only go in one direction.  The people at the medical supply store thought that could contribute to a fall.

After about a dozen stern remarks that started with, "Well, I tell you what..." I said, "You know... you have money... if you don't want to use this walker, use the 'good' one for everything, and when it wears out, we'll pay $50 or so and get you a new one."  "Ohwe no, we won't!" she replied.  I reminded her that yes, we paid $50 for the "new" walker in November, and that this was what they cost - or more - but she has money, and if she chooses to spend it on walkers, that's fine. I put her in the car, still spouting "I tell you whats," and tried to change the subject as we drove to the hairdresser's.

For the third time in a row, my grandmother had Lysol on her grocery list and some off-off-brand can of disinfectant sitting on the table.  I said, "Mam-ma, you sure are using a lot of Lysol.  I just bought you a can last week and two weeks before that."  "No you didn't!" she said.  "Yes, I did," I said nicely... "let's just find the can I bought last week."  I followed her to her bathroom, and the can I had bought at Wal-Mart the previous Friday was sitting on her bathroom sink vanity.  "See... it's right here," I told her, picking up the can.  "No, that's not it!" she said, reaching under her cabinet... "you never bought me any... see... I need THIS!"  Well, THIS was a bottle of Pine Sol!  Now, there is a huge difference between Lysol and Pine Sol.  I laughed and said, "Ohhhhh... that's totally different!"  She answered, "Well, whatever... that's what I need!"  So I guess I am supposed to have ESP an know that "Lysol" for the third time on the list actually means Pine Sol.

When I picked Mam-ma up from the hairdresser's, she said, "I'm a gonna get a permanent next week, if the weather is right."  I stupidly asked, "What's the weather got to do with it?" and she wheeled around and looked at me as if I was from Mars and said, "Have you not ever had a permanent?"  I told her I had had dozens... since childhood... and she said, "Well, they don't 'take' well if it's cloudy!"  I had never heard that one!  About the time she made this declaration, the hairdresser walked up and I said, "Mam-ma wants a permanent next week."  Pat replied, "Yes, I know... if the weather is right."  I told her Mam-ma was saying that the perms didn't "take" well if it was cloudy, and she laughed under her breath and muttered, "I never heard that one before!"  On the way home, I told Mam-ma, "You know, if you are waiting for a nice day of weather in Arkansas to get your permanent, you may never get one!"  She said, "Well, whatever... I guess I'll just get one next week, and if it don't hold, so be it."  Thankfully for everyone concerned, the weather on Friday was FANTASTIC, and Mam-ma got her perm!

Last week, a dear friend of mine, Olive Baldridge, passed away.  Olive was 97 - her birthday just a few days different from my Mam-ma's - both of them born in November 1912.  Olive had moved to Little Rock to live with her daughter, Julie, a few months ago, and on Saturday night, she put on her nightgown, watched taped episodes of Wheel of Fortune and The Price is Right, then told Julie she was going to bed.  As was her custom, she made a walk-thru of the house checking things, and when she didn't return about 10 minutes later, Julie went to look for her.  She found her mother sitting on the couch in the living room... and Olive was gone. 

Olive was a dynamic lady - a force to be reckoned with in the Democratic Party - and a very stylish and classy woman.  She was a Navy wife, then assisted her optometrist husband in his practice.  After his death, she devoted her time and energy to community projects, her beloved Presbyterian church, and of course, the county Democratic Party.  Olive told me once that anyone who ran for office in our county as a Democrat came to her first for a stamp of approval.  She vetted ALL of the Democratic candidates in our county.  A memorial service was held at the Presbyterian church one afternoon last week, followed by a beautiful sandwich/cookie reception that Olive would have loved.  The little church was packed with local friends and family members - many that we lovingly refer to in our small community as the "Old Guard" - and politicians from throughout the state... all Democrats, of course!

Mam-ma and Olive were acquaintances, but not really friends, so she did not attend the funeral, although she did phone me that morning to say, "I guess I'm not going."  I had not offered to take her.  Mam-ma generally does not "do" funerals any more... even those of close friends or relatives... so it had not occurred to me that she would even consider going to this one.  She really seemed okay with not attending.

This makes two ladies in my grandmother's age group who have virtually sat down and died in the last month.  Another was a lady in Mam-ma's domino group and Sunday School class.  She laid down on her couch for a rest and never got up.  What a way to go!  It was as if both ladies said, subconsciously, "Okay, I've done enough... and I'm ready," and they just sailed off to heaven!  How I wish this could be the way for so many of us... and how I hope my grandmother's transition is as easy some day.

Meanwhile, my grandmother is still quite busy.  The other day she showed me two new pillowcases she has embroidered with pink flowers and delicate butterflies.  She is making felt baby shoes with embroidery "just for fun." She reads - novels, the daily newspaper, and her Bible.  She follows the news on television and has her favorite shows, including Wheel of Fortune!  And she is still full of spit and vinegar, just lately informing friends of my cousins who sent her a huge box of canned vegetables from their garden and homemade soup that "everything was too salty!"  My cousins wanted the floor to open and suck them in, but that didn't seem to faze Mam-ma.  I doubt the friends will ever be so generous again!

Mam-ma told my sister that she tried the "outside walker" again, and it hurt her back.  My sister told her to put it away and use the other one.  Apparently she has to hear this from everyone!

We've been keeping our baby Timothy for a couple of days, which always provides joy and balance.  This morning, Mam-ma called and wanted to know what day it was.  I was feeding Timothy at the time.  I asked her why she was asking, and she said, "Well, my aide didn't come today, and I wondered why... but she comes on Friday, not Thursday, so that's why!"  That as all she needed... for today.  Usually, she has a pretty good handle on what day it is, because her week is fairly structured.  But for some reason, today was one of those days.  I am left to wonder if again tomorrow, she will have added Lysol to her grocery list.

At Least It Wasn't the Teeth!

Things have been busy around our house lately, to say the least.  We had baby Timmy for a full seven days and nights in late January, due to a combination of work schedule complications for his mom and grandmother and a major snow storm.  The next week, it was 3 days and nights, and in between, we had projects, and another even bigger snow storm.  One day after Snow Storm #2, when Timmy had gone home, I helped my husband deliver Meals on Wheels.  Ice and snow were still everywhere.

My grandmother had called a few evenings earlier, in tears. One of her Sunday School members had died that afternoon.  At age 92, she apparently laid down on her couch and passed away.  The funeral was scheduled for the Wednesday we were out delivering Meals on Wheels.  I had called Mam-ma to see if she needed any groceries.  Yes, she did... and she gave me a list over the phone.  I told her we were also shopping for my mother-in-law, and we would be by later to deliver her items.  She said she was going to her friend's funeral.  I told her I did not think that was a good idea.  "Well," she replied, "Ruby's son has gone to check it out and see if the roads are clear enough for us to go."  For the record, Ruby just celebrated HER 92nd birthday... and while I am sure she still drives fairly well, we are talking 8-9 inches of snow and ice!

I told Mam-ma we might not see her, if she went to the funeral, but I have a key to her house, so we would just put away her groceries and move ahead.  However, while delivering Meals on Wheels, my husband started to leave the home of one of his clients and slipped.  He caught himself and sat down - otherwise, he would have fallen and possibly hurt himself badly.  The sidewalks were icy, and there were several spots of "black ice."  I phoned my grandmother and told her this, and she said, "Well, Ruby's son said the parking lot and sidewalks (at the church) were clear... so if Ruby's going, I'm going."  I told her again I thought that was unwise, and I could tell she was mad at me for saying so.

We turned the corner onto the street where my grandmother lives, and in the shade, that 8-9 inches of snow had turned to a thick slab of ice that had not thawed.  Her driveway looked like a luge run at the Olympics.  This was NOT good.  We entered her house, and I said, "Mam-ma, your driveway is terrible!" and she swung around and yelled, "I'm not a goin', so THERE!"  I replied, "You can just be mad at me... at least you will be safe."  "Well, we're not goin'!" she said, angrily.  I turns out that Ruby's son came by my grandmother's to deliver her sewing machine, which had been serviced at a local dealer's.  When the son saw the icy street and driveway, he told his mother she could not drive herself and Mam-ma to the funeral.  So Mam-ma was mad at me AND Ruby's son!

We unpacked the groceries, and my husband sat down to visit with my grandmother while I dispensed her medicine.  We commented after we left that Mam-ma simply refuses to cooperate.  She fails to recognize that a fall on ice could result in the end of her living alone in her own home - if not the end of her!  During the first snow, I arrived one day to see her shovel propped against the garage door.  I asked her why it was there, and she said, "Well, I had to shovel a path to my mailbox... but my nice neighbor saw me and came and did it for me."  That nice neighbor had emergency multiple heart bypass surgery a few years ago and did not need to be shoveling snow, either!  My grandmother knew this, but that didn't stop her from allowing it!

While we were at my grandmother's, she mentioned that she had terrible static again on her telephone line.  We called the phone company once last fall for this, and the lineman supposedly repaired this.  My husband had tested the phone lines in the house and determined the problem was somewhere between the pole and the house.  So we told my grandmother we would call and report this latest static.  The baby came, things happened, and honestly, I forgot.  Until today...

It started with a phone call from Mam-ma this morning - "You need to call the boys at the phone company" (Oh, shoot, I thought... I meant to do that last week...) - you need to call the phone company and tell them my power is off."

Me: "Your power is off?"
Mam-ma: "Yes."
Me: "Then I need to call the power company, not the phone company!"
Mam-ma: "Well whatever..."

I called the power company - they would have power restored between 11:30 and 12:30 (this was about 10:30). It has been a gorgeous, WARM day here - up in the 60's - and when I called her about noon to see if she had power, she did, and she said, "I tell you what - this WEATHER - it was really startin' to get cold in here in just that short a time."   I promise, this was happenin' - not possible, but she had cranked up her heat to warm things up!

I had talked to my sister, and she said, "Well, she's not going to be in a good mood." Was she ever right! When I called Mam-ma at noon, I told her, "Now your hair appointment is not until 2:00. I know you think it's at 1:30, but it's not... it's at 2:00, and I will be there in plenty of time to get you." "Well, okay..." she said. She has argued with me in recent weeks that "I don't know WHEN we changed from 1:30 to 2:00," and I cannot convince her that her appointment was NEVER at 1:30. It dawned on me that this is why Mam-ma thought I was late last week and was calling for me and waiting with her walker on the driveway. She has it in her head that we go 30 minutes earlier than her 2:00 p.m. appointment.

I got to Mam-ma's house, and she was a little rattled... she forgot her purse and had to go back for it. And she had the same empty can of disinfectant that must have come from one of her shopping trips with Ruby - some off-off-off brand I've never seen that she SWEARS I bought for her at Wal-mart. I told her, "I bought you disinfectant 2 weeks ago." She got all upset... she keeps a can in her bathroom and one in the kitchen. "So you need another can?" Yes, she did. I told her that was simple enough and all she had to say... but she was still upset with me and insisted that "you got that can of country fresh disinfectant somewhere for me... I think Wal-Mart." I told her WalMart has NEVER had that brand, that I recall... and I was fairly sure I did not, but I would be happy to buy her another can of something today.

We got to Mam-ma's hair done and I bought her groceries and mine. I remembered that I had promised to take her walker to have the "feet" seen about, and when I picked her up, I asked, "Do you still want to do that today?" She started in, "Well yes, they are just plumb wore out! I need some rubber tips on there instead of them brakes and wheels." I told her, "You can just go in and tell them yourself." BIG MISTAKE!!!

I took her in, and she started in telling the medical supply personnel how the bottom covering on her walker was worn out. We determined that I bought that walker on November 13th, and the man asked if she used it outside, and I spoke up and said, "No, you fixed another one for her to use outside and in the yard. This is her walker for church and indoors." So the man and his partner discussed what she needed, and I can't remember what he asked Mam-ma, but she said very snidely, "Well of COURSE!" like he was the stupidest person on the planet. I just shook my head... but I wanted to shake her! Then, the girl decided she did need just rubber tips, and she went to get a new set of legs from the back that would accommodate the tips. Mam-ma asked, "Well just how much is that gonna cost me?" The guy winked and said, "Oh, not too much."

The girl came back with the legs for the walker, and she put them on, and the man asked Mam-ma something else, and again, very snidely, she retorted, "Well of COURSE!" like he was an idiot, and under my breath to the woman, I said, "I am so sorry," and she laughed and brushed it off and said, "nah... that's okay."  And... there was no charge for the tips/legs. Mam-ma asked, "Well what happens when these wear out?" The girl answered, "Come back in and we'll fix you up again."

So we got out in the parking lot, and Mam-ma said, "These won't last... the concrete will eat them right up." #1... she got what she wanted, and #2, I pointed out she didn't use this walker on concrete much. She wheeled around and looked at me like *I* was an idiot and said, "Oh, yes, I do." I asked, "You don't use this walker when you walk around the block, do you?" She answered... "Yes." I told her, "Mam-ma... we got you fixed up with another walker for outside... you have this walker for using at church and when you go with Ruby to play dominoes and shopping... and the outside walker for your yard and for walking on the street."

Mam-ma: "Well, I didn't know that."
Me: "Yes, you DID know that... we talked about it, and I'm pretty sure I wrote 'OUTSIDE' on that walker, so you would know which was which!"
Mam-ma (meekly, and with a whine):  "Well, I didn't know." 

Then she started to cry and said, "I guess I should just stay home." I asked her why, and she said, "Because I'm just so much trouble." I told her she was NOT trouble, but she needed to pay closer attention to what I tell her.

We got home, and sure enough, FOLDED UP in the corner in her garage is the walker with the wheels that rotate for better balance in the yard and on the street, clearly marked in TWO PLACES - OUTSIDE. I showed it to her, and she said, "Well, I didn't know." I told her, "If you have any questions, just look on the bar. If it says OUTSIDE, you use it when you walk around the block. Do NOT use this one with the new tips except for church and going somewhere like that." "Well, I'll try," she whined.

I put away her groceries and realized she did not have enough medicine to get through next Friday, so I sat down to fix that. She started in about wanting me to fix her answering machine and telephone - it was blinking from the power outtage. I sat down to adjust the clock and the message, and I needed the instructions. They were in her desk... she handed them to me... they were in Spanish! I told her never mind, I figured it out, but by then she had found the English instructions and gone to her bedroom for something.

She came back asking, "What am I gonna do about this blanket? It won't turn off." What blanket? Her electric blanket... it had been "on" since the power came back on, and it wouldn't turn off. It turns out it was malfunctioning - a digital thing. I unplugged it from the wall - by working my arm behind her bed - and replugged it and everything was fine... then I heard her mutter, "I guess I'll crawl under the bed and unplug it." Geez! I told her no... I had already done that and FIXED it!

Her phone in the bedroom is still full of static, so I told her we would bring a phone and check it out soon. I called the phone company, but they think it's a phone problem. So we will see. Meanwhile, she said, "Well, I sure hate to have to buy another phone." I told her I seriously doubt she will... and besides, they are not that expensive. I think we have another old one we can give her... my husband is going to look. Then she started in about something else and I finally said, "Mam-ma, I HAVE to go, or my cold groceries are going to spoil." Looking like she had just discovered that I had cold groceries, she said, "Oh, I'm sorry - you just go on." I thought if I spent another minute in that house I might scream - or suffocate! (She obviously kicked the heat up several notches to compensate for the power outtage and how cold her house had become.) 

Oh, and she showed me pillowcases she finished embroidering for herself, and I complimented the work, and she said, "Well I sure wish I could do something about these glasses." I reminded her the doctor said there was nothing to do, and she said, "Yes, he said he could make me some bifocals for reading and close-up work." I asked, didn't her glasses that she wears now have bifocals? She looked at me like I was crazy and said, "These glasses I wear have bifocals in 'em, but they don't work." So she dropped that, and I prayed silently, "Lord, don't let her mention her teeth next!" That little wrinkle - or is it a bubble? - seems to have passed for the moment. (She told me in the middle of Snowstorm #1 that "something has to be done about these teeth!"  She had worked on her dentures herself, and apparently she was able to adjust them and remove the "blister" bubble that appeared.  The dentist had told her to stick a pin in the bubble to deflate it, then file it with an emery board.  Apparently that worked.)

Bless her heart... she just is such a mess. Her neighbor had brought her a beautiful vase of fresh flowers that was on the kitchen table - a "bouquet" she made from extra flowers at her church.  Another neighbor had left the paper for her in the doorway. And the a couple from her church had taken her out to eat last night. I asked if it was good, and she said, "Not really - they didn't have any chicken livers." I told her I'd only eaten at this particular restaurant once, but I didn't recall seeing any chicken livers, and she said, "Well I guess they don't have 'em!" She said her fish was too crispy, and "I just thought about what your daddy said - eat what you can and leave the rest." Don't you know she got her money's worth?!

Needless to say, I was very glad to get home to my husband and two cats and my quiet house.  We kept Timmy last night while my sister worked, and he is now crawling and pulling up on EVERYTHING and requiring every-minute attention so he doesn't get into something he shouldn't.  But he is less challenging than my grandmother.  My niece, who is a CNA at a local nursing home said, "You know dressing and undressing babies and old people is a lot a like - but old people give you a whole lot more trouble!"  I think that could be said about a lot of things.  Like I said, at least she didn't mention a trip to the dentist today.  But then again, I may not have given her quite enough time... and the weekend has just begun!