Catching Up...

I know it has been a LONG time since my last post, and I do apologize. I could use the holidays as an "excuse," but honestly, I can't explain why I have not found time to share a few things with you. Perhaps I am like many people - I just need a break.  But life has marched forward, so here goes.

We celebrated Thanksgiving at my mother's home.  We had a good meal and enjoyed being together - I think.  Timothy was the star of the show, and he entertained us well.  I would have to say that much of the day, Mam-ma was very bored.  She didn't seem all that alert... and of course, she doesn't hear well... and she refused to bring her walker into the house.  So every time she stood, we held our breath as she reached for unfamiliar furniture and surroundings to "hold onto" as she toddled from one spot to the next.  My husband said he didn't know whether he was more nervous about Timothy getting into something he shouldn't, or Mam-ma falling!  I really think Mam-ma was the bigger liability!

Mom took Mam-ma to Wal-Mart to get more fabric for yet another baby quilt - this time for Timothy's new sibling, who will arrive late next spring.  Mam-ma has begun to tell a few people she is on the list to move to the assisted living facility. I have talked with the administrator, and she says a few things have changed, and there MAY be a vacancy ... but she has not returned my call to say we are on "Go!"  And if she does, I can't guarantee that Mam-ma will agree to move.

Last week was one for the books.  Mam-ma had told me the week before that her teeth were bothering her.  She mentioned it to Mom on Sunday over lunch, and Mom said, "Make an appointment to see the dentist, and I'll take you."  On Monday, Mam-ma said the same thing, and Mom told her again to make an appointment.  Mam-ma replied, "Well, they are a little better... if they start to bother me again, I'll call the dentist."  Less than an hour later, Mam-ma phoned Mom to tell her she had an appointment - for TUESDAY!  Mom was busy on Tuesday and didn't want to bother me with this, so she told Mam-ma to reschedule.  We had been keeping Timothy for a couple of days, and Mom knew I had a full week ahead with other appointments and obligations for Mam-ma and myself.

Mam-ma wanted to get a dental appointment on Wednesday, but Mom knew that we already had an appointment at our local hospital to get Mam-ma's pacemaker checked that afternoon.  So she told her the dental visit needed to happen on Thursday.  Now here's where it gets hairy.  Mam-ma had moved her beauty shop appointment to Thursday afternoon, so that we could do the rescheduled cardiologist appointment on Friday.  So... this meant that on Thursday, Mam-ma went to the dentist in the morning, then Mom whisked her to the beauty shop in the afternoon, where I picked her up afterward and took her home.

The pacemaker check went fine... we really were not gone very long at all.  The only real problem was that we have had very cold weather for early December, with lots of wind, and Mam-ma does NOT like wind!  But we persevered, and on the way to the hospital, Mam-ma told me that Ruby had fallen that morning in her front yard.  "Was she hurt?"  Yes, Mam-ma said her arm was hurt, but her doctor was not in his office on Wednesday afternoons, so she was going to tough it out until the next day.

The bottom line... Ruby's ankle gave way as she crossed her yard, and she fell and broke her wrist.  She has now seen her family doctor, an orthopedist, and has a cast on her arm.  She was trying to retrieve a box that had blown into the yard.  I would venture to say it was well below 32 degrees that morning.  By God's grace, a neighbor happened to be out and saw Ruby fall and helped her get back up and on her feet.

So Mam-ma told me that she had been taking her daily "walks" inside her garage.  I questioned her - wouldn't it be better (and warmer) to walk inside her house?  Well, there was more room.  And I surmised... "Oh... easier to maneuver your walker in the garage?"  "No...I don't use my walker in the garage."  This did NOT make me happy, and I tried to hold it together as I explained to Mam-ma that a fall in the garage could result in her lying on cold concrete for hours before anyone discovered her... and she could freeze to death!  "Well, that's right!" she replied.  But I have no doubt it went in one ear and out the other.

Thursday, Mom took Mam-ma to the dentist, where her dentures got yet another "liner."  The dentist explained to me that Mam-ma's jaw bones are disintegrating, due to age and the pressure of years of chewing, and there is really nothing for her dentures to fit around.  So he puts in a liner that makes them fit a little more snugly - for a few weeks/months.  If the dentures are loose, they rub very painful blisters on her gums.  We've probably had better than a half dozen new liners in the last couple of years.  The dentist is WONDERFUL with Mam-ma.  Since she is a former chairside dental assistant who has made a gazillion sets of dentures, they have a lot to talk about.

Mam-ma and the dentist she worked for made their own dentures, long before the advent of our dental labs of today.  The dentist would select the teeth from his tall cabinet of tray-like drawers... canines in one, molars in another, incisors in yet another... and he and Mam-ma would "set" the teeth in the soft "gum" form.  Then Mam-ma would take the teeth home and "cook" them in a big special pot on her stove (while supper simmered on the other burners), and this would "set" the teeth in the gums, and they would harden and become dentures.  I know there's more to it, but that's basically how it happens.

I spent many hours in this dental office as a child, and I was intrigued with the trays of teeth and thought nothing of that vat of dentures cooking on the stove at my grandparents' house.  So the dentist of today is fascinated by my grandmother - and her tales of earlier times - and he treats her like a queen.  I will be forever grateful to him for his kindness and love for her.

Since I had my own appointment Thursday mid-day, Mom took Mam-ma to the beauty shop at 2:00, and I picked her up there at 3:00, groceries in tow.  She'd made me a list the day before.  Of course, after her appointment on Wednesday, and TWO appointments on Thursday, she admitted she was really tired.  And it showed.  Her speech was getting loose and slurred... the thoughts didn't come very fast, and she was moving at the speed of a snail.  I dropped her at home and told her to REST!  She said she would.

Friday morning, my husband and I were there to get her at just after 10:00 a.m. to make a 30-mile drive to visit the cardiologist.  When I called Mam-ma the night before to make sure she took her medicine, she said, "I dread that trip."  She LOVES this cardiologist and always enjoys the trip to see him, so this was my first clue that she truly is realizing at least some of her limitations.  She continued, "I wish he came to our hospital, and I could see him there."  I told her one of his associates came to our hospital, and I was sure we could switch to him.  But I was afraid to do this, because I know how much she likes this other doctor.  However, she said, "I think it may be time to do this."  I asked if she wanted me to pursue it, and she said, "No... let's see how tomorrow goes."

The drives to the cardiologist are always interesting.  Mam-ma tells us all sorts of things about her childhood... and this trip was no exception.  The stories come S-L-O-W-L-Y, but she told of her dad working as a blacksmith... and a coffin maker.  She related how he would have her and her sister, Babe, hold the fabric and lace that lined the coffin while he tacked it into place.  She told of her school days and going to live with an older sister, Minnie, and her husband Ray, for about 6 months to attend school in another community.  I made notes, but I do plan to get to her house and get some of this documented better and in a more chronological order.

Once we were in the cardiologist's exam room, I asked Mam-ma, "What do you think... do you want to see about moving to another doctor?"  She replied with a sigh... "Well, I just believe we'd better."  So I asked the doctor, who was gracious and agreed that it was time for this change.  He gently reassured Mam-ma she was doing the right thing.  I told him she was on the list to go to assisted living, and he also agreed - and reassured her - about this decision.

We had lunch at Dixie Cafe before returning Mam-ma to her house, where three cousins from Oklahoma were just arriving to spend the weekend with her.  These "girls"... as Mam-ma calls them... are so good to Mam-ma, and they come to visit several times a year.  But Mam-ma always overdoes it when they are here, and she is exhausted when they leave... although she will not admit it!

The cousins stayed all weekend, going home Sunday sometime.  Monday, I checked on Mam-ma, and she seemed fine... of course, she said, "I'm really not tired at all."  Not thirty minutes later, she called me again and said, "You or Greg needs to come get my teeth.  They just broke in two when I tried to eat my dinner."  I called my husband, who was out delivering Meals on Wheels, and he went to Mam-ma's, got her teeth, and took them to the dentist.

Monday night, Mam-ma still didn't have her teeth.  We surmised the dentist had sent them out to a dental lab for repair, as Mam-ma said they snapped into two pieces.  I asked her if she had any canned cream soups she could fix for supper.  She said, "Yeah, I've got soup, but I have to thaw it."  I said, "No, I meant a can of cream soup - like cream of tomato, cream of chicken... don't you have something like that?"  She replied, "Yeah, but the soup in the freezer is vegetable."  Vegetable soup is one of her favorite meals.  I just quietly asked, "Well, Polly... how do you plan to chew vegetable soup with no teeth?"  She started to laugh... "I don't know," she giggled.  In the end, she had cream of chicken soup, crackers, and applesauce.

The dentist repaired the teeth himself, apparently, and late the next day, they were ready.  Mom took Mam-ma to get them, and an assistant put them in for Mam-ma and sent her on her way.  Mam-ma told Mom she had had a terrible headache all day from not having her teeth, and we surmise it was from not having much to eat (and probably the effect of little food and her medications on a somewhat empty stomach).

Tuesday night, Mam-ma was much better when we spoke, although her speech was very slurred and halting...probably from being tired.  But she said she had eaten, and her headache was gone.  She added... "I tell you what, I don't think I have EVER gone three days without my teeth!"  I said, "But Mam-ma, you weren't without your teeth for three days."  "Oh, yes, I was!"  "No... Greg picked them up yesterday at noon, and you got them back this afternoon - that's scarcely more than a day."  "Well... WHATEVER!"  I laughed and told her I was sure it seemed like three days, and she said, "It sure did!"

However, this made me realize that Mam-ma, who is prone to exaggeration, really convinced herself that she had been without her teeth for three days... and that tells me how confused she is becoming.  And there's more... she has taken almost a week to tell both my mother and me that her Home Health nurses have been talking to her about a new program called "Personal Care."

Mam-ma called me Monday night to tell me that a nurse had visited her and "evaluated" her for "Personal Care," a Medicaid program that provides additional in-home care for those who need it, particularly the elderly.  Supposedly, this aide will come three days a week and do laundry, housekeeping, and other things for Mam-ma.  She said, "I'll be the laziest thing in town - I won't have anything I have to do."  She also said, "You'll probably get a call... that nurse said she was going back to the office and get the ball rolling to get this for me."  She told my mother, "I didn't sign up for anything - I wanted to talk to Debbie first."  So I have not gotten a call and really don't know what is going on with this.

However, I asked Mam-ma... "Did you tell them you are on a waiting list for the assisted living facility?"  She said she did, and the nurse said, "That's okay... if you go, we'll stop it."  Not wanting to tell Mam-ma I've made an inquiry again at the assisted living facility and expect a call soon from the administrator, I asked, "You know, the assisted living facility could call us any day and say a room is available.  So, if they call and have a room ready for you, don't you want to at least go look at it?"  Mam-ma changed the subject somewhat and said, "Well, that aide said, 'Don't you want to stay at home as long as you can?' and I said 'Yes, I DO!'"  So I am having my doubts that Mam-ma will be agreeable to even looking at a room at the assisted living facility... much less agree to move there.

I've done a little Internet research, and while this program looks good, I am not sure it will provide the level of care my grandmother may need and/or desire.  For one thing, these aides cannot handle any medications... the assisted living facility provides nursing care and will monitor all of Mam-ma's meds. The aides can also not provide any transportation, and that's a biggie with Mam-ma - having someone to drive her places now that Ruby is not able to chauffeur her to the store and such.  And... while this is three days a week, Mam-ma needs PEOPLE around her EVERY day.  As we approach winter and she becomes more housebound by the weather, she will become even more restless and lonely.  At the assisted living facility, she would be surrounded by people all of the time.

Still... this is totally my grandmother's decision at this point.  She is mobile.  She went to her Sunday School brunch at a local restaurant this week.  She continues to "show her spunk" at every turn, and for the most part, we've managed to make the adjustments that are keeping her relatively safe in her own home.

I say "for the most part," because... last week, Mom called one afternoon to see if Mam-ma had taken her noon medications, and Ruby answered the phone.  Mom said, "I just called to see if Polly took her medicine."  Ruby responded that she probably did not, "because we're making peanut brittle."  Mom said, "I didn't know what to say to that, so I pretty much just hung up!"  When I went the next day to get Mam-ma for her appointment, there was absolutely NO trace of peanut brittle, save an empty corn syrup bottle tucked in a corner on her counter.  But I could smell the cooked sugar of candy making... I know that aroma all too well!  The candy was never mentioned.

On Thursday, when I picked Mam-ma up at the beauty shop, we were leaving and her hairdresser stopped at her station and said, "Oh, what's this?  I wonder who left this candy?" It was a zip-loc bag filled with peanut brittle.  Mam-ma grinned like a proud school child and said, "I did!"  The hairdresser asked, "Who made it?"  Mam-ma grinned again, "Well, I did!" she said.  Behind her, I mouthed, "She's not supposed to make peanut brittle," and the hairdresser nodded in agreement, pulling me aside a few seconds later and saying, "She told me a couple of months ago that y'all won't let her make peanut brittle any more."  We both just sort of rolled our eyes!

I did not acknowledge any of this to Mam-ma.  We got into the car and started home, and she said, "Ruby said, 'Oh, I'm so glad we got that peanut brittle made before I broke my arm.'"  Again, I did not bite.  This irritated Mam-ma to no end, and she got short and curt with me afterward.  I changed the subject to something else, and I knew she was not happy - she wanted me to fuss at her and cause an argument.  I don't know how I held my tongue, but I did.  To her credit, she did not leave a bag of the candy for me to bring to my husband, or I might not have been so patient.

Clearly, as long as Mam-ma lives at home, she is going to test the waters... from making candy to walking in her garage without a walker to things I don't even want to imagine.  I pray each day that God keeps her safe... and that He gives me the strength to deal with whatever may happen next.  Meanwhile, I just chalk these incidents up as "fodder for the blog!"

On a side note, my mom has just written a new book about the history of the entertainment industry in Branson, Missouri.  Since so many people like to visit Branson, I thought there might be readers here who would find this information of interest.  My mom has now written five books... you can learn more about her work at her website... ArlineChandler.com.

I Can't Get No Satisfaction...

I made a trip to the medical supply store to try and get my grandmother's "wobbly" walker fitted with new legs to replace the one I ran over last week at the beauty shop.  The ladies were so nice there.  They said, "Oh, this has happened before."  In fact, the woman in charge said that she could fix up the "old" walker, but it would cost about $55, and the walker itself was a little unsteady, and she did not recommend fixing it.  What happens to these walkers?  Just a few months ago, it was outfitted with the 360-degree wheels for outside use and declared safe... now it's unsteady? 

Anyway, the woman went on to tell me that she thought we could qualify for a new walker covered by Medicare, since it has been two years since Mam-ma last got a new one.  Apparently these walkers are not designed to last very long, whether you run over them or they are driven around the blocks and through the stores and churches by little 97-year-old ladies!  I had to sign a waiver saying that I would pay the $130, if Medicare will not authorize the walker.  I did that. 

I also told the lady that Mam-ma had seen some white, flat tips on her friend's walker last Friday, and she had a fit over them - wanted some for HER walker... and she wanted BIG wheels.  The lady said the tips were called "gliders," and she had some... but they would be an extra $19.  I told her to put them on the new walker.  She fixed me up with the gliders and BIG wheels.

I took the walker to Mam-ma's, along with a box that contained the plain rubber tips that had been exchanged... and I took back the "old" walker, too.  I got Mam-ma to come out into the garage, and I showed her the brand spanking new walker - complete with white glider tips.  I have to admit, I was feeling pretty proud of my efforts!  Mam-ma looked the walker over and said... "Well... (long pause)... that's okay."  Okay?  What did she mean, "Okay?"  She harrumphed and said, "Well, it'll be okay if I don't stub my toe on them tips.  Gerry said she had to watch out for that."  Now, for the record, I never heard our little friend say a word about those tips causing her to stub her toe.  But I told Mam-ma..."If you decide you don't like them, we can take them off and put on the original rubber tips.  And if you wear them out on the concrete, we have the other tips in this box." She replied in a pitiful tone, "No... that's okay."

I parked the walkers, put the extra legs/tips in her closet, and let it go.  Clearly, there will be no satisfaction with the walker situation, regardless of what we get.  And that is useful information for the future. Meanwhile, we are garnering an arsenal of old, useless walkers - if anyone needs parts, we probably have 'em!

Fodder for the Blog

You can't make these things up.  Today, I ran over Mam-ma's walker!  The day had been going fairly well.  I had run errands for myself, then picked up Mam-ma and dropped her off at the hairdresser's.  She didn't need many groceries, so I decided to buy mine at the same time.  That, too, went smoothly.  I even stopped at the meat market for some steaks for our dinner.

When I returned to the hairdresser's, Mam-ma was sitting in a chair waiting on me.  The hairdresser was running behind when I left, but somehow she had managed to catch up - and then some.  Also waiting was a little friend of ours - and my birthday buddy - whom I call "Maw Mac."  She will be 92 on our birthday in July.  Maw Mac's daughter Marsha arrived in Maw Mac's Buick, and she parked perpendicular to my vehicle - and part of another - in the street.  So we weren't going anywhere until Maw Mac was loaded.  Marsha walked out with Mam-ma and up the passenger side of my vehicle.  She instructed Maw Mac to follow me around the driver's side of my vehicle, because that would put her in the right spot to get in her back seat.  Both ladies had walkers.

I never gave Mam-ma's walker another thought.  She got into my car.  I showed Marsha and Maw Mac pictures of Timothy, and then Marsha helped her mother into the car.  I got in, and when Marsha had driven away, I backed out of the parking lot.  I knew right away I hit something - but what?  I looked around and there was nothing behind me... and then I realized... the walker!  I stopped and got out, and there it lay, beside Mam-ma's door... warped, flattened along one spot, and ruined.  Mam-ma had folded it up and laid it against the back door on her side of the vehicle.  She NEVER does this.  I always fold and put away her walker.  Had she left it... we would not have hit it.  But it was partly my fault, too for not remembering it.

So I will take another walker that Mam-ma has - the one with the "roly-poly wheels" - and have a new walker outfitted for her on Monday.  She was not the least bit upset, because she is not happy with her current walker situation anyway, and this represents an opportunity for something new.  She had just commented inside the beauty shop that she wished her walker had feet on it like Maw Mac's - some sort of flat contraption I'd never seen before on the back legs.  I'll just have to see what the Medical Supply store can offer us.  I had cold groceries today and it was 80 degrees, humid as the tropics, and stormy, so I was not stopping now.

I rolled into Mam-ma's driveway and parked beside her friend Ruby.  I said, "Wonder what Ruby is up to..." and Mam-ma said, "Well, I'm sure we're going to the grocoery store!"  I had Mam-ma's groceries in the back seat!  Sure enough, we unpacked Mam-ma's groceries (buttermilk, "sweet" milk, orange juice and Three Musketeers) and she grabbed her purse.  I got one of her spare walkers for her, and she said, "Oh, no... I'm not taking that.  I don't take a walker to the store."  Ruby chimed in... "She holds onto my arm to get into the store, and then she pushes a buggy - she doesn't know what to do with that walker in the store."  I just shrugged and said, "Have a good weekend, girls!"  It was all I could do.  I'd bet a dollar to a donut Mam-ma buys more groceries while she is out with Ruby.

Fridays are always an adventure!

At Least It Wasn't the Teeth!

Things have been busy around our house lately, to say the least.  We had baby Timmy for a full seven days and nights in late January, due to a combination of work schedule complications for his mom and grandmother and a major snow storm.  The next week, it was 3 days and nights, and in between, we had projects, and another even bigger snow storm.  One day after Snow Storm #2, when Timmy had gone home, I helped my husband deliver Meals on Wheels.  Ice and snow were still everywhere.

My grandmother had called a few evenings earlier, in tears. One of her Sunday School members had died that afternoon.  At age 92, she apparently laid down on her couch and passed away.  The funeral was scheduled for the Wednesday we were out delivering Meals on Wheels.  I had called Mam-ma to see if she needed any groceries.  Yes, she did... and she gave me a list over the phone.  I told her we were also shopping for my mother-in-law, and we would be by later to deliver her items.  She said she was going to her friend's funeral.  I told her I did not think that was a good idea.  "Well," she replied, "Ruby's son has gone to check it out and see if the roads are clear enough for us to go."  For the record, Ruby just celebrated HER 92nd birthday... and while I am sure she still drives fairly well, we are talking 8-9 inches of snow and ice!

I told Mam-ma we might not see her, if she went to the funeral, but I have a key to her house, so we would just put away her groceries and move ahead.  However, while delivering Meals on Wheels, my husband started to leave the home of one of his clients and slipped.  He caught himself and sat down - otherwise, he would have fallen and possibly hurt himself badly.  The sidewalks were icy, and there were several spots of "black ice."  I phoned my grandmother and told her this, and she said, "Well, Ruby's son said the parking lot and sidewalks (at the church) were clear... so if Ruby's going, I'm going."  I told her again I thought that was unwise, and I could tell she was mad at me for saying so.

We turned the corner onto the street where my grandmother lives, and in the shade, that 8-9 inches of snow had turned to a thick slab of ice that had not thawed.  Her driveway looked like a luge run at the Olympics.  This was NOT good.  We entered her house, and I said, "Mam-ma, your driveway is terrible!" and she swung around and yelled, "I'm not a goin', so THERE!"  I replied, "You can just be mad at me... at least you will be safe."  "Well, we're not goin'!" she said, angrily.  I turns out that Ruby's son came by my grandmother's to deliver her sewing machine, which had been serviced at a local dealer's.  When the son saw the icy street and driveway, he told his mother she could not drive herself and Mam-ma to the funeral.  So Mam-ma was mad at me AND Ruby's son!

We unpacked the groceries, and my husband sat down to visit with my grandmother while I dispensed her medicine.  We commented after we left that Mam-ma simply refuses to cooperate.  She fails to recognize that a fall on ice could result in the end of her living alone in her own home - if not the end of her!  During the first snow, I arrived one day to see her shovel propped against the garage door.  I asked her why it was there, and she said, "Well, I had to shovel a path to my mailbox... but my nice neighbor saw me and came and did it for me."  That nice neighbor had emergency multiple heart bypass surgery a few years ago and did not need to be shoveling snow, either!  My grandmother knew this, but that didn't stop her from allowing it!

While we were at my grandmother's, she mentioned that she had terrible static again on her telephone line.  We called the phone company once last fall for this, and the lineman supposedly repaired this.  My husband had tested the phone lines in the house and determined the problem was somewhere between the pole and the house.  So we told my grandmother we would call and report this latest static.  The baby came, things happened, and honestly, I forgot.  Until today...

It started with a phone call from Mam-ma this morning - "You need to call the boys at the phone company" (Oh, shoot, I thought... I meant to do that last week...) - you need to call the phone company and tell them my power is off."

Me: "Your power is off?"
Mam-ma: "Yes."
Me: "Then I need to call the power company, not the phone company!"
Mam-ma: "Well whatever..."

I called the power company - they would have power restored between 11:30 and 12:30 (this was about 10:30). It has been a gorgeous, WARM day here - up in the 60's - and when I called her about noon to see if she had power, she did, and she said, "I tell you what - this WEATHER - it was really startin' to get cold in here in just that short a time."   I promise, this was happenin' - not possible, but she had cranked up her heat to warm things up!

I had talked to my sister, and she said, "Well, she's not going to be in a good mood." Was she ever right! When I called Mam-ma at noon, I told her, "Now your hair appointment is not until 2:00. I know you think it's at 1:30, but it's not... it's at 2:00, and I will be there in plenty of time to get you." "Well, okay..." she said. She has argued with me in recent weeks that "I don't know WHEN we changed from 1:30 to 2:00," and I cannot convince her that her appointment was NEVER at 1:30. It dawned on me that this is why Mam-ma thought I was late last week and was calling for me and waiting with her walker on the driveway. She has it in her head that we go 30 minutes earlier than her 2:00 p.m. appointment.

I got to Mam-ma's house, and she was a little rattled... she forgot her purse and had to go back for it. And she had the same empty can of disinfectant that must have come from one of her shopping trips with Ruby - some off-off-off brand I've never seen that she SWEARS I bought for her at Wal-mart. I told her, "I bought you disinfectant 2 weeks ago." She got all upset... she keeps a can in her bathroom and one in the kitchen. "So you need another can?" Yes, she did. I told her that was simple enough and all she had to say... but she was still upset with me and insisted that "you got that can of country fresh disinfectant somewhere for me... I think Wal-Mart." I told her WalMart has NEVER had that brand, that I recall... and I was fairly sure I did not, but I would be happy to buy her another can of something today.

We got to Mam-ma's hair done and I bought her groceries and mine. I remembered that I had promised to take her walker to have the "feet" seen about, and when I picked her up, I asked, "Do you still want to do that today?" She started in, "Well yes, they are just plumb wore out! I need some rubber tips on there instead of them brakes and wheels." I told her, "You can just go in and tell them yourself." BIG MISTAKE!!!

I took her in, and she started in telling the medical supply personnel how the bottom covering on her walker was worn out. We determined that I bought that walker on November 13th, and the man asked if she used it outside, and I spoke up and said, "No, you fixed another one for her to use outside and in the yard. This is her walker for church and indoors." So the man and his partner discussed what she needed, and I can't remember what he asked Mam-ma, but she said very snidely, "Well of COURSE!" like he was the stupidest person on the planet. I just shook my head... but I wanted to shake her! Then, the girl decided she did need just rubber tips, and she went to get a new set of legs from the back that would accommodate the tips. Mam-ma asked, "Well just how much is that gonna cost me?" The guy winked and said, "Oh, not too much."

The girl came back with the legs for the walker, and she put them on, and the man asked Mam-ma something else, and again, very snidely, she retorted, "Well of COURSE!" like he was an idiot, and under my breath to the woman, I said, "I am so sorry," and she laughed and brushed it off and said, "nah... that's okay."  And... there was no charge for the tips/legs. Mam-ma asked, "Well what happens when these wear out?" The girl answered, "Come back in and we'll fix you up again."

So we got out in the parking lot, and Mam-ma said, "These won't last... the concrete will eat them right up." #1... she got what she wanted, and #2, I pointed out she didn't use this walker on concrete much. She wheeled around and looked at me like *I* was an idiot and said, "Oh, yes, I do." I asked, "You don't use this walker when you walk around the block, do you?" She answered... "Yes." I told her, "Mam-ma... we got you fixed up with another walker for outside... you have this walker for using at church and when you go with Ruby to play dominoes and shopping... and the outside walker for your yard and for walking on the street."

Mam-ma: "Well, I didn't know that."
Me: "Yes, you DID know that... we talked about it, and I'm pretty sure I wrote 'OUTSIDE' on that walker, so you would know which was which!"
Mam-ma (meekly, and with a whine):  "Well, I didn't know." 

Then she started to cry and said, "I guess I should just stay home." I asked her why, and she said, "Because I'm just so much trouble." I told her she was NOT trouble, but she needed to pay closer attention to what I tell her.

We got home, and sure enough, FOLDED UP in the corner in her garage is the walker with the wheels that rotate for better balance in the yard and on the street, clearly marked in TWO PLACES - OUTSIDE. I showed it to her, and she said, "Well, I didn't know." I told her, "If you have any questions, just look on the bar. If it says OUTSIDE, you use it when you walk around the block. Do NOT use this one with the new tips except for church and going somewhere like that." "Well, I'll try," she whined.

I put away her groceries and realized she did not have enough medicine to get through next Friday, so I sat down to fix that. She started in about wanting me to fix her answering machine and telephone - it was blinking from the power outtage. I sat down to adjust the clock and the message, and I needed the instructions. They were in her desk... she handed them to me... they were in Spanish! I told her never mind, I figured it out, but by then she had found the English instructions and gone to her bedroom for something.

She came back asking, "What am I gonna do about this blanket? It won't turn off." What blanket? Her electric blanket... it had been "on" since the power came back on, and it wouldn't turn off. It turns out it was malfunctioning - a digital thing. I unplugged it from the wall - by working my arm behind her bed - and replugged it and everything was fine... then I heard her mutter, "I guess I'll crawl under the bed and unplug it." Geez! I told her no... I had already done that and FIXED it!

Her phone in the bedroom is still full of static, so I told her we would bring a phone and check it out soon. I called the phone company, but they think it's a phone problem. So we will see. Meanwhile, she said, "Well, I sure hate to have to buy another phone." I told her I seriously doubt she will... and besides, they are not that expensive. I think we have another old one we can give her... my husband is going to look. Then she started in about something else and I finally said, "Mam-ma, I HAVE to go, or my cold groceries are going to spoil." Looking like she had just discovered that I had cold groceries, she said, "Oh, I'm sorry - you just go on." I thought if I spent another minute in that house I might scream - or suffocate! (She obviously kicked the heat up several notches to compensate for the power outtage and how cold her house had become.) 

Oh, and she showed me pillowcases she finished embroidering for herself, and I complimented the work, and she said, "Well I sure wish I could do something about these glasses." I reminded her the doctor said there was nothing to do, and she said, "Yes, he said he could make me some bifocals for reading and close-up work." I asked, didn't her glasses that she wears now have bifocals? She looked at me like I was crazy and said, "These glasses I wear have bifocals in 'em, but they don't work." So she dropped that, and I prayed silently, "Lord, don't let her mention her teeth next!" That little wrinkle - or is it a bubble? - seems to have passed for the moment. (She told me in the middle of Snowstorm #1 that "something has to be done about these teeth!"  She had worked on her dentures herself, and apparently she was able to adjust them and remove the "blister" bubble that appeared.  The dentist had told her to stick a pin in the bubble to deflate it, then file it with an emery board.  Apparently that worked.)

Bless her heart... she just is such a mess. Her neighbor had brought her a beautiful vase of fresh flowers that was on the kitchen table - a "bouquet" she made from extra flowers at her church.  Another neighbor had left the paper for her in the doorway. And the a couple from her church had taken her out to eat last night. I asked if it was good, and she said, "Not really - they didn't have any chicken livers." I told her I'd only eaten at this particular restaurant once, but I didn't recall seeing any chicken livers, and she said, "Well I guess they don't have 'em!" She said her fish was too crispy, and "I just thought about what your daddy said - eat what you can and leave the rest." Don't you know she got her money's worth?!

Needless to say, I was very glad to get home to my husband and two cats and my quiet house.  We kept Timmy last night while my sister worked, and he is now crawling and pulling up on EVERYTHING and requiring every-minute attention so he doesn't get into something he shouldn't.  But he is less challenging than my grandmother.  My niece, who is a CNA at a local nursing home said, "You know dressing and undressing babies and old people is a lot a like - but old people give you a whole lot more trouble!"  I think that could be said about a lot of things.  Like I said, at least she didn't mention a trip to the dentist today.  But then again, I may not have given her quite enough time... and the weekend has just begun!

Taking Care of Business

On November 5th, my grandmother celebrated her 97th birthday. We actually celebrated the day before with a lunch at our local hospital cafeteria. Everyone was there, and many local residents stopped by to wish my Mam-ma well, too, so she had a great day. I think her phone rang almost non-stop on her birthday, and her mailbox was filled with cards. She also had a few visitors drop by to say "Happy Birthday." My mother picked Mam-ma up and brought her to the lunch, then took her home. We were probably at the cafeteria for two hours or better, and when Mom pulled into the driveway, Mam-ma said, "Can't you come in and visit for a while?" No... Mom had things to do. Mam-ma also told her, "You hardly ever come to see me any more." Mom admitted she doesn't go often, but she HAD just spent two hours with my grandmother!

On Friday, November 6th, I picked Mam-ma up for her beauty shop appointment, and the house smelled like a bakery. I knew from posts on Facebook that the children of a cousin who lives in Little Rock had called and wished Mam-ma a "Happy Birthday," and one of them mentioned he liked her sugar cookies. She replied, "Well I'll bake you some, but you'll have to come see me." When I smelled the cookies, I knew she had taken his request quite literally. She began telling me that "the kids are coming," and I cautioned her that "soon" to them probably didn't mean right away. She didn't buy it. So when I got home, I posted a comment on Facebook and let them know that Mam-ma had already made the cookies for their son. They came on Sunday, so they avoided the dog house!

As we left for the beauty shop, Mam-ma said, "My walker needs new tips on the legs." Now I think I posted here a few months ago about the ordeal of getting new legs for her walker when "all I wanted was two tennis balls." So I said, "We've been through this." Well, this was ANOTHER walker, and the tips were shot. I said, "Let's take the walker I had fixed for you a few months ago, and you use this walker outside where the tips don't matter." She said, "Okay, but THIS walker has wobbly wheels." I couldn't see it, but she reluctantly took the newer walker, and I told her that the next Friday, I would factor in time to take it by the medical supply store for a look/see.

Over the weekend, my sister and I were talking, and she said, "I'm worried about Mam-ma... she said she hadn't done well for two days." I asked if Mam-ma told her about the cards, phone calls, visits, cookie baking, laundry she had folded, etc., and she said, "Noooooooooo." That explained her exhaustion!

My husband and I keep our great-nephew on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons while his mother attends college classes. Sometimes we keep him overnight and on weekends, too. Tuesday afternoon, I barely got Timothy in his crib for a nap when the phone rang. I was unable to reach it in time, but caller ID showed me it was Mam-ma. I returned her call and told her I was just putting the baby down for a nap and couldn't get to her phone call. She said, "Oh, you've got the baby?" "Yes, we have him every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon." (She knows this!) "Oh, you do? Every Tuesday and Thursday... well that's nice." She wanted to ask me what color to embroider some pillowcases I had purchased for her - just for something to do. I told her it did not matter to me... but she wanted me to pick a color!

When I picked up Mam-ma the day after her birthday, there were several pieces of mail for me... the new Aetna formularies for Medicare Part D prescription drug coverage, and two letters from the Arkansas Department of Finance telling me that Mam-ma's handicapped parking sticker is expiring. I read through everything - as expected, Aetna will not cover one of Mam-ma's most expensive medications in 2010, so for the FOURTH year in a row, I am choosing a new provider and making the switch!

One morning I sat down to review the providers and see if I could figure out which insurance company might fit Mam-ma's needs. I went to http://www.medicare.gov/ and began the comparison process. First you have to enter your Medicare ID number, your birth date, the date Medicare coverage began, and a few other things. If for any reason after you advance to the next page you hit the backspace key, you lose every bit of that info and have to retype. I know... I've learned the hard way. Now once I get to the actual page for comparing providers, I have "saved" my grandmother's prescriptions for reference, and I can edit dosages and even add or subtract prescriptions if needed. However, to do this initially, I had to enter each drug individually, along with the dosage and the number of pills she takes per month. It wasn't hard for me, but then, I am not quite a "senior" yet and consider myself fairly computer savvy.

I adjusted Mam-ma's meds and added a new one and removed the old one and SAVED my info again. But before I did this, I realized that the website now offers a "My Medicare" option, where you can create a login and password, and you will be able to retrieve all of your information about Medicare coverage, including what you have spent, what is still available and allowable, and more. So I thought, "Great! If I get a login and password, maybe I won't keep losing my info each time and having to retype things." Here's what happened. I created a login - and there were specific instructions about how to make it something you will remember, but not something others might readily know. Then I gave my e-mail address and I was told that a temporary password would be sent to my e-mail account - and mailed to Mam-ma! (Won't she be tickled?!)

I checked my e-mail account, and here's the good part... to create my temporary password, I had to take the first letter of my grandmother's first name, then add the last four digits of her Social Security number, followed by the first letter of her LAST name, followed by a code that Medicare gave me in the e-mail message. Once I was logged in with this password, I could change it to anything I wanted, as long as it included at least 8 characters, a letter AND a digit, and any number of characters such as *,&, !, and others that are generally not allowable in all things Internet or computer! Now I had to laugh... what genius came up with this procedure for SENIOR CITIZENS?! It truly boggles the mind.

I now have a call pending with the Medicare office in Dallas, as I do each year, to clarify questions for which I cannot find answers on http://www.medicare.gov/. I think I know the answer, but I have to be certain!

So Friday, I picked up my grandmother for her hair appointment, and she practically met me at the door, pillowcases and embroidery thread in hand... what did I think about lavender? I told her it was fine by me. Then I started to dispense her medications into her daily pill boxes. She had not taken her night-time medicine four out of seven nights. She had missed two morning doses, and her Friday noon medication was still there - and it was almost 2:00. I discussed this with her, and she had no clue why she had not taken all of her medicine - and honestly, she didn't realize she HADN'T taken it! She had, however, worried herself silly over a "shoebox" for the church for a project for Franklin Graham's Samaritan's Purse Organization, called "Operation Shoebox." She and her friend Ruby had both stuffed shoeboxes full of toys, candy, toiletries, small workbooks and more, and Ruby had wrapped the boxes in padding and then covered them in colorful Christmas fabric. A couple of 5-9-year-old boys in a foreign country will get a real treat this Christmas!

Mam-ma took her noon-time medicine, and we started to the beauty shop. She showed me the old walker and said, "I just took those tips off... they were shot." I told her that I planned to get her newer walker looked at while she was having her hair done. I took her to the hairdresser's, then drove to the medical supply place. A very nice man and woman looked at the walker and declared that "Someone has put the miles on this!" The wheels were worn flat and hard... and the walker itself was completely out of alignment. They could put new wheels on it, but there was nothing to be done about the alignment. The woman said, "Since Medicare has provided her with a new walker in the last five years, they will not pay for a new one, which is $120. But I have a used one that is refurbished and perfectly good that I can sell you for $50." I told her I would take it. So I got a new walker for Mam-ma to use at church and when she goes places with Ruby, and we agreed she could use the old wobbly one with new wheels outside and in the yard. When I got home, I wrote OUTSIDE in black magic marker across the handle rails of the old one, and I put her name on the new one.

But before we could get home from the errands/beauty shop, we had to stop at the Department of Motor Vehicles and get a photo ID and new handicapped parking sticker. Mam-ma somehow qualifies for two of those hangers to place on the rear view mirror, and she wanted BOTH of them. Just as it was our turn to be served, the computers went down, so we had to wait about 20 minutes. But we got the photo ID and two hanging permits.

Back at home, I started putting away my grandmother's groceries, and she said, "I don't know why I'm so out of it." and I reminded her it was due largely to not taking her medication. She didn't answer me. I insisted she has to try harder to remember to take it and not get so busy. I finished putting away the groceries and dispensing her medicine, then I took probably 10 pieces of clothing off her clothesline - she had hung each one on a hanger and pinned it to the clothesline with TWO clothespins! That line is high - I have no idea how she did that and balanced on a walker! AND... there was a THIRD walker at her back door that I had never seen before! Counting her "good" one inside, she had FOUR walkers! I folded up the one with no tips on the legs and put it in my car... and I told her it was going away!

Here's the kicker... my husband and I went to the local high school football game later that evening, and Mam-ma's Home Health Aide, whom I've known for over a decade, asked, "Did you help Mam-ma get her peanut brittle made?" "What? Peanut brittle?" I had not heard this one. The aide went on to say that when she helped Mam-ma that morning with her bath, she said, "I wish you could stay all day and help me." "With what?" the aide asked. "Making peanut brittle!" my grandmother replied. This makes the second year she has made peanut brittle "on the sly" and tried not to let me know about it, because she thinks I will fuss at her. And I might - she handles scalding molten candy in a HEAVY saucepan, and one winter she required physical therapy on her shoulder after a Christmas season of making peanut brittle. Hers is the best around, and she will probably make close to 50 lbs. of it this year. Last year she made nearly that much and never once asked me to buy as much as a peanut, much less sugar and corn syrup. She had friends and church members keep her in supplies and help with deliveries.

Knowing all of this, it's no wonder Mam-ma isn't remembering her medications... she has too much else on her mind, from embroidery to parties to peanut brittle! The aide also told me that Mam-ma nearly killed herself making THREE BATCHES of sugar cookies for the cousins who came. But she truly did enjoy them, so I guess it was worth it.

When I left my grandmother's house, I still had to return to Wal-Mart for OUR groceries. Also on my list was another box of diapers for the baby, plus formula and baby food, and a child car safety seat. I had to laugh... as I loaded my groceries into the car, I opened a door to set the car seat inside, and there was the walker. Now if I'm not covering both ends of the spectrum, nobody is! And we get to do it all over again this week!