Catching Up...

I guess you could say it's been a quiet two weeks... quiet in comparison to the noted "walker" incident.  I arrived the following Friday to get my grandmother to the hairdresser, and I asked if she was using the "outside" walker.  She harrumphed and said, "YOU try that thing!"  She insisted she couldn't maneuver it and had nearly fallen... and that she wore herself out trying to walk with it.  So I walked the walker out into the street and back, and maybe there is a slight learning curve, since the front wheels rotate 360 degrees, but the idea is to have something more flexible if she hits a bump and not rigid front wheels that only go in one direction.  The people at the medical supply store thought that could contribute to a fall.

After about a dozen stern remarks that started with, "Well, I tell you what..." I said, "You know... you have money... if you don't want to use this walker, use the 'good' one for everything, and when it wears out, we'll pay $50 or so and get you a new one."  "Ohwe no, we won't!" she replied.  I reminded her that yes, we paid $50 for the "new" walker in November, and that this was what they cost - or more - but she has money, and if she chooses to spend it on walkers, that's fine. I put her in the car, still spouting "I tell you whats," and tried to change the subject as we drove to the hairdresser's.

For the third time in a row, my grandmother had Lysol on her grocery list and some off-off-brand can of disinfectant sitting on the table.  I said, "Mam-ma, you sure are using a lot of Lysol.  I just bought you a can last week and two weeks before that."  "No you didn't!" she said.  "Yes, I did," I said nicely... "let's just find the can I bought last week."  I followed her to her bathroom, and the can I had bought at Wal-Mart the previous Friday was sitting on her bathroom sink vanity.  "See... it's right here," I told her, picking up the can.  "No, that's not it!" she said, reaching under her cabinet... "you never bought me any... see... I need THIS!"  Well, THIS was a bottle of Pine Sol!  Now, there is a huge difference between Lysol and Pine Sol.  I laughed and said, "Ohhhhh... that's totally different!"  She answered, "Well, whatever... that's what I need!"  So I guess I am supposed to have ESP an know that "Lysol" for the third time on the list actually means Pine Sol.

When I picked Mam-ma up from the hairdresser's, she said, "I'm a gonna get a permanent next week, if the weather is right."  I stupidly asked, "What's the weather got to do with it?" and she wheeled around and looked at me as if I was from Mars and said, "Have you not ever had a permanent?"  I told her I had had dozens... since childhood... and she said, "Well, they don't 'take' well if it's cloudy!"  I had never heard that one!  About the time she made this declaration, the hairdresser walked up and I said, "Mam-ma wants a permanent next week."  Pat replied, "Yes, I know... if the weather is right."  I told her Mam-ma was saying that the perms didn't "take" well if it was cloudy, and she laughed under her breath and muttered, "I never heard that one before!"  On the way home, I told Mam-ma, "You know, if you are waiting for a nice day of weather in Arkansas to get your permanent, you may never get one!"  She said, "Well, whatever... I guess I'll just get one next week, and if it don't hold, so be it."  Thankfully for everyone concerned, the weather on Friday was FANTASTIC, and Mam-ma got her perm!

Last week, a dear friend of mine, Olive Baldridge, passed away.  Olive was 97 - her birthday just a few days different from my Mam-ma's - both of them born in November 1912.  Olive had moved to Little Rock to live with her daughter, Julie, a few months ago, and on Saturday night, she put on her nightgown, watched taped episodes of Wheel of Fortune and The Price is Right, then told Julie she was going to bed.  As was her custom, she made a walk-thru of the house checking things, and when she didn't return about 10 minutes later, Julie went to look for her.  She found her mother sitting on the couch in the living room... and Olive was gone. 

Olive was a dynamic lady - a force to be reckoned with in the Democratic Party - and a very stylish and classy woman.  She was a Navy wife, then assisted her optometrist husband in his practice.  After his death, she devoted her time and energy to community projects, her beloved Presbyterian church, and of course, the county Democratic Party.  Olive told me once that anyone who ran for office in our county as a Democrat came to her first for a stamp of approval.  She vetted ALL of the Democratic candidates in our county.  A memorial service was held at the Presbyterian church one afternoon last week, followed by a beautiful sandwich/cookie reception that Olive would have loved.  The little church was packed with local friends and family members - many that we lovingly refer to in our small community as the "Old Guard" - and politicians from throughout the state... all Democrats, of course!

Mam-ma and Olive were acquaintances, but not really friends, so she did not attend the funeral, although she did phone me that morning to say, "I guess I'm not going."  I had not offered to take her.  Mam-ma generally does not "do" funerals any more... even those of close friends or relatives... so it had not occurred to me that she would even consider going to this one.  She really seemed okay with not attending.

This makes two ladies in my grandmother's age group who have virtually sat down and died in the last month.  Another was a lady in Mam-ma's domino group and Sunday School class.  She laid down on her couch for a rest and never got up.  What a way to go!  It was as if both ladies said, subconsciously, "Okay, I've done enough... and I'm ready," and they just sailed off to heaven!  How I wish this could be the way for so many of us... and how I hope my grandmother's transition is as easy some day.

Meanwhile, my grandmother is still quite busy.  The other day she showed me two new pillowcases she has embroidered with pink flowers and delicate butterflies.  She is making felt baby shoes with embroidery "just for fun." She reads - novels, the daily newspaper, and her Bible.  She follows the news on television and has her favorite shows, including Wheel of Fortune!  And she is still full of spit and vinegar, just lately informing friends of my cousins who sent her a huge box of canned vegetables from their garden and homemade soup that "everything was too salty!"  My cousins wanted the floor to open and suck them in, but that didn't seem to faze Mam-ma.  I doubt the friends will ever be so generous again!

Mam-ma told my sister that she tried the "outside walker" again, and it hurt her back.  My sister told her to put it away and use the other one.  Apparently she has to hear this from everyone!

We've been keeping our baby Timothy for a couple of days, which always provides joy and balance.  This morning, Mam-ma called and wanted to know what day it was.  I was feeding Timothy at the time.  I asked her why she was asking, and she said, "Well, my aide didn't come today, and I wondered why... but she comes on Friday, not Thursday, so that's why!"  That as all she needed... for today.  Usually, she has a pretty good handle on what day it is, because her week is fairly structured.  But for some reason, today was one of those days.  I am left to wonder if again tomorrow, she will have added Lysol to her grocery list.

Taking Care of Business

On November 5th, my grandmother celebrated her 97th birthday. We actually celebrated the day before with a lunch at our local hospital cafeteria. Everyone was there, and many local residents stopped by to wish my Mam-ma well, too, so she had a great day. I think her phone rang almost non-stop on her birthday, and her mailbox was filled with cards. She also had a few visitors drop by to say "Happy Birthday." My mother picked Mam-ma up and brought her to the lunch, then took her home. We were probably at the cafeteria for two hours or better, and when Mom pulled into the driveway, Mam-ma said, "Can't you come in and visit for a while?" No... Mom had things to do. Mam-ma also told her, "You hardly ever come to see me any more." Mom admitted she doesn't go often, but she HAD just spent two hours with my grandmother!

On Friday, November 6th, I picked Mam-ma up for her beauty shop appointment, and the house smelled like a bakery. I knew from posts on Facebook that the children of a cousin who lives in Little Rock had called and wished Mam-ma a "Happy Birthday," and one of them mentioned he liked her sugar cookies. She replied, "Well I'll bake you some, but you'll have to come see me." When I smelled the cookies, I knew she had taken his request quite literally. She began telling me that "the kids are coming," and I cautioned her that "soon" to them probably didn't mean right away. She didn't buy it. So when I got home, I posted a comment on Facebook and let them know that Mam-ma had already made the cookies for their son. They came on Sunday, so they avoided the dog house!

As we left for the beauty shop, Mam-ma said, "My walker needs new tips on the legs." Now I think I posted here a few months ago about the ordeal of getting new legs for her walker when "all I wanted was two tennis balls." So I said, "We've been through this." Well, this was ANOTHER walker, and the tips were shot. I said, "Let's take the walker I had fixed for you a few months ago, and you use this walker outside where the tips don't matter." She said, "Okay, but THIS walker has wobbly wheels." I couldn't see it, but she reluctantly took the newer walker, and I told her that the next Friday, I would factor in time to take it by the medical supply store for a look/see.

Over the weekend, my sister and I were talking, and she said, "I'm worried about Mam-ma... she said she hadn't done well for two days." I asked if Mam-ma told her about the cards, phone calls, visits, cookie baking, laundry she had folded, etc., and she said, "Noooooooooo." That explained her exhaustion!

My husband and I keep our great-nephew on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons while his mother attends college classes. Sometimes we keep him overnight and on weekends, too. Tuesday afternoon, I barely got Timothy in his crib for a nap when the phone rang. I was unable to reach it in time, but caller ID showed me it was Mam-ma. I returned her call and told her I was just putting the baby down for a nap and couldn't get to her phone call. She said, "Oh, you've got the baby?" "Yes, we have him every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon." (She knows this!) "Oh, you do? Every Tuesday and Thursday... well that's nice." She wanted to ask me what color to embroider some pillowcases I had purchased for her - just for something to do. I told her it did not matter to me... but she wanted me to pick a color!

When I picked up Mam-ma the day after her birthday, there were several pieces of mail for me... the new Aetna formularies for Medicare Part D prescription drug coverage, and two letters from the Arkansas Department of Finance telling me that Mam-ma's handicapped parking sticker is expiring. I read through everything - as expected, Aetna will not cover one of Mam-ma's most expensive medications in 2010, so for the FOURTH year in a row, I am choosing a new provider and making the switch!

One morning I sat down to review the providers and see if I could figure out which insurance company might fit Mam-ma's needs. I went to http://www.medicare.gov/ and began the comparison process. First you have to enter your Medicare ID number, your birth date, the date Medicare coverage began, and a few other things. If for any reason after you advance to the next page you hit the backspace key, you lose every bit of that info and have to retype. I know... I've learned the hard way. Now once I get to the actual page for comparing providers, I have "saved" my grandmother's prescriptions for reference, and I can edit dosages and even add or subtract prescriptions if needed. However, to do this initially, I had to enter each drug individually, along with the dosage and the number of pills she takes per month. It wasn't hard for me, but then, I am not quite a "senior" yet and consider myself fairly computer savvy.

I adjusted Mam-ma's meds and added a new one and removed the old one and SAVED my info again. But before I did this, I realized that the website now offers a "My Medicare" option, where you can create a login and password, and you will be able to retrieve all of your information about Medicare coverage, including what you have spent, what is still available and allowable, and more. So I thought, "Great! If I get a login and password, maybe I won't keep losing my info each time and having to retype things." Here's what happened. I created a login - and there were specific instructions about how to make it something you will remember, but not something others might readily know. Then I gave my e-mail address and I was told that a temporary password would be sent to my e-mail account - and mailed to Mam-ma! (Won't she be tickled?!)

I checked my e-mail account, and here's the good part... to create my temporary password, I had to take the first letter of my grandmother's first name, then add the last four digits of her Social Security number, followed by the first letter of her LAST name, followed by a code that Medicare gave me in the e-mail message. Once I was logged in with this password, I could change it to anything I wanted, as long as it included at least 8 characters, a letter AND a digit, and any number of characters such as *,&, !, and others that are generally not allowable in all things Internet or computer! Now I had to laugh... what genius came up with this procedure for SENIOR CITIZENS?! It truly boggles the mind.

I now have a call pending with the Medicare office in Dallas, as I do each year, to clarify questions for which I cannot find answers on http://www.medicare.gov/. I think I know the answer, but I have to be certain!

So Friday, I picked up my grandmother for her hair appointment, and she practically met me at the door, pillowcases and embroidery thread in hand... what did I think about lavender? I told her it was fine by me. Then I started to dispense her medications into her daily pill boxes. She had not taken her night-time medicine four out of seven nights. She had missed two morning doses, and her Friday noon medication was still there - and it was almost 2:00. I discussed this with her, and she had no clue why she had not taken all of her medicine - and honestly, she didn't realize she HADN'T taken it! She had, however, worried herself silly over a "shoebox" for the church for a project for Franklin Graham's Samaritan's Purse Organization, called "Operation Shoebox." She and her friend Ruby had both stuffed shoeboxes full of toys, candy, toiletries, small workbooks and more, and Ruby had wrapped the boxes in padding and then covered them in colorful Christmas fabric. A couple of 5-9-year-old boys in a foreign country will get a real treat this Christmas!

Mam-ma took her noon-time medicine, and we started to the beauty shop. She showed me the old walker and said, "I just took those tips off... they were shot." I told her that I planned to get her newer walker looked at while she was having her hair done. I took her to the hairdresser's, then drove to the medical supply place. A very nice man and woman looked at the walker and declared that "Someone has put the miles on this!" The wheels were worn flat and hard... and the walker itself was completely out of alignment. They could put new wheels on it, but there was nothing to be done about the alignment. The woman said, "Since Medicare has provided her with a new walker in the last five years, they will not pay for a new one, which is $120. But I have a used one that is refurbished and perfectly good that I can sell you for $50." I told her I would take it. So I got a new walker for Mam-ma to use at church and when she goes places with Ruby, and we agreed she could use the old wobbly one with new wheels outside and in the yard. When I got home, I wrote OUTSIDE in black magic marker across the handle rails of the old one, and I put her name on the new one.

But before we could get home from the errands/beauty shop, we had to stop at the Department of Motor Vehicles and get a photo ID and new handicapped parking sticker. Mam-ma somehow qualifies for two of those hangers to place on the rear view mirror, and she wanted BOTH of them. Just as it was our turn to be served, the computers went down, so we had to wait about 20 minutes. But we got the photo ID and two hanging permits.

Back at home, I started putting away my grandmother's groceries, and she said, "I don't know why I'm so out of it." and I reminded her it was due largely to not taking her medication. She didn't answer me. I insisted she has to try harder to remember to take it and not get so busy. I finished putting away the groceries and dispensing her medicine, then I took probably 10 pieces of clothing off her clothesline - she had hung each one on a hanger and pinned it to the clothesline with TWO clothespins! That line is high - I have no idea how she did that and balanced on a walker! AND... there was a THIRD walker at her back door that I had never seen before! Counting her "good" one inside, she had FOUR walkers! I folded up the one with no tips on the legs and put it in my car... and I told her it was going away!

Here's the kicker... my husband and I went to the local high school football game later that evening, and Mam-ma's Home Health Aide, whom I've known for over a decade, asked, "Did you help Mam-ma get her peanut brittle made?" "What? Peanut brittle?" I had not heard this one. The aide went on to say that when she helped Mam-ma that morning with her bath, she said, "I wish you could stay all day and help me." "With what?" the aide asked. "Making peanut brittle!" my grandmother replied. This makes the second year she has made peanut brittle "on the sly" and tried not to let me know about it, because she thinks I will fuss at her. And I might - she handles scalding molten candy in a HEAVY saucepan, and one winter she required physical therapy on her shoulder after a Christmas season of making peanut brittle. Hers is the best around, and she will probably make close to 50 lbs. of it this year. Last year she made nearly that much and never once asked me to buy as much as a peanut, much less sugar and corn syrup. She had friends and church members keep her in supplies and help with deliveries.

Knowing all of this, it's no wonder Mam-ma isn't remembering her medications... she has too much else on her mind, from embroidery to parties to peanut brittle! The aide also told me that Mam-ma nearly killed herself making THREE BATCHES of sugar cookies for the cousins who came. But she truly did enjoy them, so I guess it was worth it.

When I left my grandmother's house, I still had to return to Wal-Mart for OUR groceries. Also on my list was another box of diapers for the baby, plus formula and baby food, and a child car safety seat. I had to laugh... as I loaded my groceries into the car, I opened a door to set the car seat inside, and there was the walker. Now if I'm not covering both ends of the spectrum, nobody is! And we get to do it all over again this week!