Talk about a week of contrasts! We've had Timothy this week for a couple of days. He got his first big-boy haircut on Thursday. He was such a trooper... didn't cry...didn't wiggle. Living in a small town often has great advantages, and this was no exception. My friend since childhood, Tiger, did the haircut, and he was a pro all the way. It had even more meaning because he gave Timmy such special care and attention.
Yesterday was "beauty shop day," so Greg kept Timothy while I took Mam-ma to get her hair done and shopped for groceries. Timmy had not taken a good morning nap, so he was a little unhappy... but he did take a short nap while I was away. Mam-ma was napping when I arrived, but she arose and began getting ready to go to the hairdresser's while I dispensed some medicine and checked her doors to make sure they were locked.
Mam-ma had called me earlier in the week and asked if I would take her to a birthday party for her friend Lois, who will be 101 soon. I told her I would. On the way home from the beauty shop, I said, "We need to talk about the party... what time do you want to go?" She said, "Well... they start serving lunch at noon, so I guess about 11:30." I reminded her that she had mentioned going early to visit with Lois, and she said, "Yes... that's right... let's go at 10:30." I suggested maybe 10:30 was too early... that Lois might not be there, and she said, "She lives there (with her daughter)!" I knew that, but I offered that she might not be ready to receive guests for a noon lunch at 10:30 a.m., and Mam-ma retorted, "Well, she will!" I asked how long we were staying, and she said, "Oh... I think an hour or so after we eat will be sufficient." Then she added... "Of course, they may insist I stay longer!" We may be there all afternoon!
So I told Mam-ma I would pick her up at 10:30 a.m. I asked... "Does this mean you are skipping church?" (Her church service starts at 10:30 a.m.) She said she was. A few blocks later, she said, "I tell you what... let's go at 10:45." I told her that would be fine... I'd be there to pick her up and take her. I hurriedly unpacked her groceries and headed home. It was 95 degrees at 3:00 p.m. with a heat index about 105 degrees, and I had ice cream in the grocery sack! I told her I would be back on Sunday, and she said she planned to rest this weekend for the party.
We were expecting my childhood friend and neighbor and her three grandchildren to visit us and have dinner, so I needed to hurry home and get things in order. Our friends arrived about 5:30, and we made frozen pizzas and sat down to eat. The phone rang...it was Mam-ma. "Do you know what I forgot? I forgot to get a birthday card for Lois." I told her, "You have a drawer full of birthday cards, don't you?" She replied, "Well yes, but not one that says 'Happy 101st!'" I told her I had never seen a card that said "Happy 101st" - that I'd seen them for the 100th birthday, but I seriously doubted there even is a card for the 101st. I suggested she pick out her prettiest card and write a sweet note in it. She reluctantly said, "Well, I guess that's what I'll have to do." I didn't tell her we had company - and she didn't ask.
Today, while Timmy and I were napping, the phone rang. I answered and quietly said "Hello?" I heard Mam-ma say, "I bet you have the baby." I told her yes, he was here, and she said, "Well, I'll tell you this fast... Lois is not feeling well, so we're not going as early to the party. Let's go at 12:30. I told her that would be fine. A few hours later, she called and said, "Let's go at noon." I told her noon it is. She said, "I think they are going to cut the cake at 1:30, so let's go at noon and beat the crowd." Now obviously she still plans to be there at 1:30, but we're going at noon - for now! She added, "Go ahead and go to church." Then she asked... "What time does your church end?" I told her 10:30, and we would be fine. So for the moment, we're going at noon! I have no idea how this is going to go beyond that!
Showing posts with label traditions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label traditions. Show all posts
July 17, 2010
July 05, 2010
Fodder for the Blog
Whenever something happens lately with my grandmother, I've begun shrugging and saying, "Oh well... fodder for the blog!" So last week, a dear lady in our community passed away at the age of 102. Charlsie Baldridge Little was an iconic figure in our community and a tremendous role model for women everywhere.
Widowed on Pearl Harbor Day at the age of 33, Ms. Charlsie reared two young sons alone, supporting them as a school teacher who made $100 per month! She managed to stretch that money enough to take summer vacations and introduce her sons to culture and art... such as opera performances they attended by riding a bus some 65 miles to Little Rock.
Mrs. Little left her sons with their grandparents for a couple of summers while she attended graduate school at Peabody (part of Vanderbilt University) in Nashville, Tennessee. For a woman to have a master's degree in the late forties/early fifties was rare, particularly in the South... but not if you were Ms. Charlsie!
After retiring in 1973, Mrs. Little formed a local county historical society. She traveled to Little Rock to the state history commission each week to gather data and research family trees. She also authored a book for the 100th birthday celebration of our community's First Baptist Church - Upon This Rock. Her daughter-in-law, Barbara, (who was my piano teacher), declared Ms. Charlsie to be "a force to be reckoned with" - and she was that and more.
My mother remembers being in second grade and thinking she would take her cousin's collie dog to school with her. She envisioned Bing lying beside her school desk, much like Lassie did in the movies. But when she got to the front door and started inside, her principal - Ms. Charlsie - told her sternly, "Get that dog out of the school house!" And of course, she did. She said as a child, she was afraid of Mrs. Charlsie... and one can understand this, because Mrs. Little was so pragmatic, all-business, frank, and yes, stern! But she was also a model of decency, propriety, and order.
I explain all of this to say that I telephoned my grandmother to see if she wanted to go with me to Ms. Charlsie's funeral. She did not... she was going to visitation the night before with my mom, and that would suffice. She added... "I didn't know anything about this until today." I told her I had assumed her "network" of friends would have let her know right away. "Well, they didn't," she retorted. I laughed and said, "They are falling down on the job." She answered, "Yes, you are!" I added that I was referring to her Sunday School members, with whom she speaks almost daily. It was lost on her.
Friday went smoothly... for the most part. We went to the beauty shop, and I bought groceries. She had Lysol on the list, and I bought a can of spray... she needed liquid for disinfecting the toilet. I suggested she get some the next time she and Ruby visited Fred's.
Speaking of Fred's... when Mom took Mam-ma and Ruby to the visitation for Ms. Charlsie, they were getting in their car afterward, and Mam-ma said, "Ruby, do you know where my purse is?" Ruby asked, "Did you leave it in my car?" Mam-ma replied, "No, it's at Fred's." This was Thursday evening... Mam-ma and Ruby had shopped at Fred's on Monday or Tuesday. Apparently Mam-ma left her purse there, and the store clerks tried to use a phone number inside to contact her, but it wasn't working. We think maybe it was my sister's old land line number. Anyway, one of the clerks said, "I know where she lives, and I go by there on my way home. I'll stop and tell her the purse is here." I guess they felt that was better than taking the purse, in case Mam-ma didn't answer her door.
So the clerk stopped and told my grandmother that her purse was at Fred's. My mom and her husband drove by the store on their way home from the visitation and retrieved the purse. Mom looked inside, and everything appeared to be there - including $23 in cash. Mom chastised Mam-ma about being careful... and not carrying a lot of cash in her purse! Everyone remarked that only in a small town such as ours could something like this happen. In a major city, nobody would drive to a little old lady's house to let her know her purse had been left.
Mam-ma chalked it up to forgetfulness, but this was the tip of the iceberg. On Saturday, my sister phoned my grandmother and told her she was coming for a visit. This was around noon. Ruby phoned afterward and asked my grandmother to go with her to the nursing home to visit friends. Mam-ma said she could not... Suzanne was coming for a visit. My sister stopped at my mom's house for a visit first. She had baby Timmy with her, and they stayed a half hour or better and arrived at my grandmother's around 2:00 p.m. The house was locked up tight, and no one would answer the doors.
Naturally, this frightened my sister. She phoned my mom, and Mom checked with Ruby to see if perhaps Mam-ma was with her. No, Ruby was at home alone, but this worried her. Of course, Mom assumed the worst. So she and her husband grabbed their house key and hurried to my grandmother's. I'm not sure if Ruby came along or not. Anyway, Mam-ma was not dead in the floor as anticipated... she was not there. But chicken pieces were baking in the oven... almost burned to a crisp. Mom said they were rendered inedible.
While Mom and the crew were searching the house for my grandmother, a truck pulled up. In it were Mam-ma and her friends from church, the Barbers. They had been to pick plums. Mom fussed at Mam-ma for leaving the chicken in the oven... she forgot. She phoned my sister later and apologized for forgetting she was coming. I don't think it has fully registered with her the gravity of forgetting in such a short period of time all that had transpired... and leaving food baking, to boot. All she could think about was getting plums to make jelly!
At first, Mom didn't think this really bothered Mam-ma at all. But she has now phoned my sister at least three, maybe four times to apologize... and she has phoned my mom and her husband once. She couldn't believe she forgot. Neither could we. So there is a pattern developing... and it's not good. We are all forgetful, but when cooking is involved, the stakes are greatly elevated. I am not sure how we will deal with this, but we are probably going to have to address it at some point... particularly before "peanut brittle making season" rolls around again.
I know God takes care of these situations in ways we cannot, and I am praying He does this for us. Ms. Charlsie lived in the nursing home for eight years. I am not sure Mam-ma could last there 8 weeks. She would be so miserable. I love my grandmother dearly and don't want to lose her... but if "the day" comes when she is inside her home when we unlock the door, that will be fine by me.
Widowed on Pearl Harbor Day at the age of 33, Ms. Charlsie reared two young sons alone, supporting them as a school teacher who made $100 per month! She managed to stretch that money enough to take summer vacations and introduce her sons to culture and art... such as opera performances they attended by riding a bus some 65 miles to Little Rock.
Mrs. Little left her sons with their grandparents for a couple of summers while she attended graduate school at Peabody (part of Vanderbilt University) in Nashville, Tennessee. For a woman to have a master's degree in the late forties/early fifties was rare, particularly in the South... but not if you were Ms. Charlsie!
After retiring in 1973, Mrs. Little formed a local county historical society. She traveled to Little Rock to the state history commission each week to gather data and research family trees. She also authored a book for the 100th birthday celebration of our community's First Baptist Church - Upon This Rock. Her daughter-in-law, Barbara, (who was my piano teacher), declared Ms. Charlsie to be "a force to be reckoned with" - and she was that and more.
My mother remembers being in second grade and thinking she would take her cousin's collie dog to school with her. She envisioned Bing lying beside her school desk, much like Lassie did in the movies. But when she got to the front door and started inside, her principal - Ms. Charlsie - told her sternly, "Get that dog out of the school house!" And of course, she did. She said as a child, she was afraid of Mrs. Charlsie... and one can understand this, because Mrs. Little was so pragmatic, all-business, frank, and yes, stern! But she was also a model of decency, propriety, and order.
I explain all of this to say that I telephoned my grandmother to see if she wanted to go with me to Ms. Charlsie's funeral. She did not... she was going to visitation the night before with my mom, and that would suffice. She added... "I didn't know anything about this until today." I told her I had assumed her "network" of friends would have let her know right away. "Well, they didn't," she retorted. I laughed and said, "They are falling down on the job." She answered, "Yes, you are!" I added that I was referring to her Sunday School members, with whom she speaks almost daily. It was lost on her.
Friday went smoothly... for the most part. We went to the beauty shop, and I bought groceries. She had Lysol on the list, and I bought a can of spray... she needed liquid for disinfecting the toilet. I suggested she get some the next time she and Ruby visited Fred's.
Speaking of Fred's... when Mom took Mam-ma and Ruby to the visitation for Ms. Charlsie, they were getting in their car afterward, and Mam-ma said, "Ruby, do you know where my purse is?" Ruby asked, "Did you leave it in my car?" Mam-ma replied, "No, it's at Fred's." This was Thursday evening... Mam-ma and Ruby had shopped at Fred's on Monday or Tuesday. Apparently Mam-ma left her purse there, and the store clerks tried to use a phone number inside to contact her, but it wasn't working. We think maybe it was my sister's old land line number. Anyway, one of the clerks said, "I know where she lives, and I go by there on my way home. I'll stop and tell her the purse is here." I guess they felt that was better than taking the purse, in case Mam-ma didn't answer her door.
So the clerk stopped and told my grandmother that her purse was at Fred's. My mom and her husband drove by the store on their way home from the visitation and retrieved the purse. Mom looked inside, and everything appeared to be there - including $23 in cash. Mom chastised Mam-ma about being careful... and not carrying a lot of cash in her purse! Everyone remarked that only in a small town such as ours could something like this happen. In a major city, nobody would drive to a little old lady's house to let her know her purse had been left.
Mam-ma chalked it up to forgetfulness, but this was the tip of the iceberg. On Saturday, my sister phoned my grandmother and told her she was coming for a visit. This was around noon. Ruby phoned afterward and asked my grandmother to go with her to the nursing home to visit friends. Mam-ma said she could not... Suzanne was coming for a visit. My sister stopped at my mom's house for a visit first. She had baby Timmy with her, and they stayed a half hour or better and arrived at my grandmother's around 2:00 p.m. The house was locked up tight, and no one would answer the doors.
Naturally, this frightened my sister. She phoned my mom, and Mom checked with Ruby to see if perhaps Mam-ma was with her. No, Ruby was at home alone, but this worried her. Of course, Mom assumed the worst. So she and her husband grabbed their house key and hurried to my grandmother's. I'm not sure if Ruby came along or not. Anyway, Mam-ma was not dead in the floor as anticipated... she was not there. But chicken pieces were baking in the oven... almost burned to a crisp. Mom said they were rendered inedible.
While Mom and the crew were searching the house for my grandmother, a truck pulled up. In it were Mam-ma and her friends from church, the Barbers. They had been to pick plums. Mom fussed at Mam-ma for leaving the chicken in the oven... she forgot. She phoned my sister later and apologized for forgetting she was coming. I don't think it has fully registered with her the gravity of forgetting in such a short period of time all that had transpired... and leaving food baking, to boot. All she could think about was getting plums to make jelly!
At first, Mom didn't think this really bothered Mam-ma at all. But she has now phoned my sister at least three, maybe four times to apologize... and she has phoned my mom and her husband once. She couldn't believe she forgot. Neither could we. So there is a pattern developing... and it's not good. We are all forgetful, but when cooking is involved, the stakes are greatly elevated. I am not sure how we will deal with this, but we are probably going to have to address it at some point... particularly before "peanut brittle making season" rolls around again.
I know God takes care of these situations in ways we cannot, and I am praying He does this for us. Ms. Charlsie lived in the nursing home for eight years. I am not sure Mam-ma could last there 8 weeks. She would be so miserable. I love my grandmother dearly and don't want to lose her... but if "the day" comes when she is inside her home when we unlock the door, that will be fine by me.
December 12, 2009
December In a Sandwich Family
The holidays are upon us, and all indications are that my grandmother has her peanut brittle factory in full swing (an offer of candy for my husband yesterday and a comment that she still needs to make a batch for a cousin!). I have given up worrying about it or trying to prevent it and turned to praying that she makes it safely from stove to cookie sheet with hot molten candy lava.
Timmy is seven months old now and mesmerized by the Christmas lights and decorations. Most years, I have my Christmas shopping done by October, the cards mailed by the first week of December, presents wrapped and under the tree the 2nd week, and baked goods to share with family and friends. This year I have most gifts purchased, cards e-mailed - but a box for mailing on the desk, nothing wrapped, and no baked goods. Hopefully I will have a couple of days in a row where I can knock out a few things on my list!
Medicare Part D enrollment is complete for 2010 - somewhat less painful this year than in those past. Everyone is healthy for the moment. We really are blessed and have little to complain about... although we do seem to find something... but I'm working on that, too!
Cousins came from Oklahoma to visit my grandmother Thanksgiving weekend. They brought her twenty-five gifts... wrapped and numbered. She was instructed to open one gift per day, in the order listed, until Christmas! She is having a ball with this. The first day it was a wreath. Day 2 brought a pretty pin for her coat lapel. Day three it was a box of Christmas cards - AND stamps! Day 4 she got a Christmas coffee mug. And so it goes. This was a genius idea - and took a lot of work and thought. But you might have a senior on YOUR list whose holidays would be brightened by this gift extravaganza!
When I did my grandmother's errands this week, she seemed more confused than usual. I spent extra time at her house helping her with some Christmas cards and things... and just reassuring her that she was tired (probably from making peanut brittle the day before) and this would pass. But I do see a steady decline in her. And while I know she can spin on a dime, for the moment, she seems to have mellowed a bit and is very kind and appreciative - and cooperative. Maybe she is just too tired to argue! At any rate, her little house is cozy and decorated for Christmas, thanks to her housekeeper and friends who have brought in fresh greenery and such. Her gifts are purchased and ready to deliver. She is looking forward to spending time with her family on Christmas Eve - especially her great-great grandson Timothy. And the daily packages have given her a reason to get up each morning.
In some ways, 7-month-old babies are not all that different from 97-year-old great-great grandmothers. They both need lots of love and attention. For the moment, God is giving me plenty of stamina to meet these needs... and I have no doubt He will continue.
Have a blessed, happy 3rd week of December!
Timmy is seven months old now and mesmerized by the Christmas lights and decorations. Most years, I have my Christmas shopping done by October, the cards mailed by the first week of December, presents wrapped and under the tree the 2nd week, and baked goods to share with family and friends. This year I have most gifts purchased, cards e-mailed - but a box for mailing on the desk, nothing wrapped, and no baked goods. Hopefully I will have a couple of days in a row where I can knock out a few things on my list! Medicare Part D enrollment is complete for 2010 - somewhat less painful this year than in those past. Everyone is healthy for the moment. We really are blessed and have little to complain about... although we do seem to find something... but I'm working on that, too!
Cousins came from Oklahoma to visit my grandmother Thanksgiving weekend. They brought her twenty-five gifts... wrapped and numbered. She was instructed to open one gift per day, in the order listed, until Christmas! She is having a ball with this. The first day it was a wreath. Day 2 brought a pretty pin for her coat lapel. Day three it was a box of Christmas cards - AND stamps! Day 4 she got a Christmas coffee mug. And so it goes. This was a genius idea - and took a lot of work and thought. But you might have a senior on YOUR list whose holidays would be brightened by this gift extravaganza!
When I did my grandmother's errands this week, she seemed more confused than usual. I spent extra time at her house helping her with some Christmas cards and things... and just reassuring her that she was tired (probably from making peanut brittle the day before) and this would pass. But I do see a steady decline in her. And while I know she can spin on a dime, for the moment, she seems to have mellowed a bit and is very kind and appreciative - and cooperative. Maybe she is just too tired to argue! At any rate, her little house is cozy and decorated for Christmas, thanks to her housekeeper and friends who have brought in fresh greenery and such. Her gifts are purchased and ready to deliver. She is looking forward to spending time with her family on Christmas Eve - especially her great-great grandson Timothy. And the daily packages have given her a reason to get up each morning.In some ways, 7-month-old babies are not all that different from 97-year-old great-great grandmothers. They both need lots of love and attention. For the moment, God is giving me plenty of stamina to meet these needs... and I have no doubt He will continue.
Have a blessed, happy 3rd week of December!
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