- "I have had several servings of "club" sandwiches over the past 25 years. I had my 2 and 3-year-old and a 92 and 90-year-old in my home at the same time (my grandmother and her brother). We had them for 6 years. Plus, my mother down the street at 70.
Then I had my mother at 80 in my house and my husband's grandmother at 91. Plus, my son boomeranged back with his 2-year-old son. We are empty nesters now... for a short time...anticipating the next set of elderly coming, probably next spring (his dad and step-mom). Even though I work full-time, I find myself depressed now that my youngest is gone."
I do somewhat understand where you are coming from... when our little ones have stayed with us for even a 24-hour time frame, there is that period after they leave that we sort of wander around and feel like, "Now what?" All of a sudden, the house is quiet... there is no one to watch over intently and no feeling of trepidation if you even rush to the bathroom for five minutes. It takes a while to adjust to the "emptiness" of the house again. And I'll admit... it sometimes leaves me feeling momentarily sad.
I have also found myself experiencing some mild depression lately that I believe is due in part to the passing of my grandmother last March. I truly miss her. It's not that I have a whole lot of extra time on my hands that I don't know how to fill... that was never an issue - and other people and projects filled in that void quite quickly and completely. It's the little things... like thinking, "Oh, I must tell Mam-ma about that"... or "I'll have to ask Mam-ma what she thinks"... or "Mam-ma will love that!" For me, sewing has probably been the hardest adjustment. I love to sew... and Mam-ma taught me how when I was little. In the last two years, I took everything I made to the Assisted Living Facility to show my Mam-ma. She would run her fingers across every garment or project. She would examine the stitches and grin... and gesture for others to have a look at my handiwork. Even though she couldn't talk, I knew she was pleased... and proud. And sometimes she would shake her head, and I knew she was wishing that SHE could still sew... but she took great delight in my projects as her progeny.
Now, I don't have anyone to share my completed garments with... not in the way that I shared them with my grandmother. And this has been hard. Before my Mam-ma died, a friend who had lost her grandmother (who happened to be Mam-ma's back-door neighbor) told me how sad she was... how much she missed her grandmother... how hard it had been for her. I thought, "That won't be me. Mam-ma is SO ready to go to heaven... and I have made my peace with this. I will miss her, but it won't be so terribly hard." Well ya know what? It IS terribly hard some days! And that's just a fact!So give yourself a little slack, Lauren. Take some time for yourself and your husband in these next few months between "sandwiches"...and God bless you - for your dedication and your perseverance! Every "sandwich" is different... but my goodness, it sounds like you've had a whole deli all by yourself!
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1 comment:
Great post, Debbie. Last week I read the editorial in Country Extra Magazine--about how that editor remembered riding the "big yellow box" to and from school--and about his drive, whom at the time, he thought was very strict. It brought back a flood of memories about Mam-ma driving the big school bus--and how many children remember her over the years. This was a great story--and a good answer.
Mom
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