Doctor, Doctor!

My grandmother hasn't felt well in weeks - she keeps complaining of a persistent cough. To those around her, the cough doesn't seem that bad, but she insists it is "making me week as a hoot owl" and dragging her down, and I can see that SOMETHING is indeed wearing on her. So I guess it IS the cough. I took her to the doctor a week ago, and he gave her samples of an inhaler for the cough and Nasonex for inflammation in her ears - she really does have something going on there - she can barely hear.

Yesterday was our day to drive to Searcy (30 miles from home) to the cardiologist for a 6-month checkup. I grabbed my purse and phone yesterday morning to head to Mam-ma's, and there was a message on my cell phone. I listened, and it was Dr. B's nurse (family physician), Tammy, asking me to call her. I did, and she started telling me about Mam-ma's blood work from last Thursday and how Dr. B wanted her to take B12. I questioned her, and I could tell she did not like having her whole spiel interrupted, but I said anyway, "Wait a minute... she already gets a B12 shot every 2 weeks." "She does?" Tammy asked... "well, he wants her to continue that. And... he wants her to take folate." I asked what that was, and she said, "It's just folate," again acting irritated that I had interrupted her. I didn't care. "Where do you get this folate?" "At Wal-Mart." "How much does she take?" "Just one per day." "What strength?" "It's just folate... it doesn't have a strength. AND... Dr. B wants her to cut her Lasix back to 20 mg morning and noon." I said, "Just a minute... let me find her list and doublecheck what she is taking now." She said, "If you do that, I will have to put you on hold and answer someone else." I told her to go ahead because we had to get this straight.

Soon enough, she was on the phone again. Mam-ma takes 40 mg in the morning and 20 at noon. The nurse said she was now to take 20 in the morning and 20 at noon. I told her we were on our way to Dr. C's for a checkup, and I would run this all by him. I picked up Mam-ma, and she was all decked out in a peach pantsuit... pants, blouse and cardigan sweater all in peach. Mom bought it for her, and peach is a good color for HER, but not Polly... peach is such a terrible color for her (totally drains the color from her skin), but everyone went on and on today about how beautiful she was in her peach... and of course, she ate that up! She got in the car and said, "I really would rather stay home today!" She had two coughing spells - one getting in the car, and another just before we got to Dixie Cafe. (Since our appointment was for 12:15, and sometimes we can be there a long time, I figured we should eat first, so she wouldn't fade on me!) Mam-ma really "puts on the dog" for Dr. C, so today, we took the fancy PURPLE walker, and after lunch, we had to stop at the bathroom - for her to use the bathroom, wash her hands, AND put on lipstick!*lol*

Anyway, just as we got into Searcy, my cell phone rang, and it was Dr. B's nurse again... she said, "You know, when you asked about the dosage on that folate, that made me wonder, and I went back and looked on her chart again, and I told you wrong. Dr. B doesn't want to add those things - he wants to CHECK them... so we need her to come in for blood work." I told her we were just there last Thursday for blood work, and she said, "I know - that's how he found this and wants to check it. You can just drop by any time tomorrow." I told her it didn't make any sense to me that Dr. B was the one who ORDERED the B12 shots, and now he didn't know she was already TAKING it. She said, "HE knows... I didn't." Again, I told her I would run this all by Dr. C.

Mam-ma was furious... she said, "That makes me so damn mad! Why in the s#!t do they want me to cut down on my lasix when sometimes I can't even pee as it is?" Then she laughed and apologized for being ugly!*lol* But I didn't blame her - drawing blood is hard on her, and I told her not to worry - we would see what Dr. C had to say, but we were NOT having blood drawn two days in a row. I asked the nurse WHY Dr. B was doing this, and she said Mam-ma's creatinine level was a little high.

So, when we got to Dr. C's, I told the receptionist I needed to talk to the nurse before labs were done. They let me come back and talk to the lab nurse, and she said she thought they could justify checking the creatinine and such in their blood work there. Then I explained this all again to the nurse practitioner who interviewed/evaluated Mam-ma - and again to Dr. C. Of course, when he came in, he asked Mam-ma how she had been, and she smiled and shrugged her shoulders and said, "I'm fine!" I wanted to scream! Anyway, I was shaking my head "no" behind her, and she started trying to tell him about her coughing spell and seeing Dr. B in July, and she couldn't think of what she wanted to say, so she nudged me and said, "you tell him." So I did. Really, Dr. C did not address the cough or the not being able to hear; however, he said they would have the blood work back, possibly as early as today, and not to do a thing until he looked at it. He was not in favor of reducing the Lasix, and I was glad.

Mam-ma asked him if he knew about her being in the hospital... and I asked when we were there to see him last - March. So I told him about Easter Sunday and the ER and the high BP, and he made notes, and I told him about the royal mixup on the medicine... we have verified with his office that we are on the same page there now... and I told him about Dr. B ordering the Zithromax dose pack over the phone and Dr. C's nurse suggesting we wait and see if the stomach virus didn't subside on its own (which is what we did) and how Dr. C was not a big fan of the Klonipin that the ER doc prescribed, and Dr. C shook his head no and said... "that is a BAD drug." I told him we did not take that, either, and he was glad. And I added that in fact, Mam-ma was allergic to the Zithromax and should never have even been prescribed it to start with. He just shook his head.

So... he said, "let's just tie a big knot in this rope and hang on. You are doing fine, and your heart is doing great, and I want to keep it that way, so I don't want to change a thing. If I see anything different in the blood work, I will let you know. Otherwise, come back in 6 months, and if you need US in the meantime, don't hesitate to call." Then he walked us out and gave Mam-ma a huge hug, which made her day. I did tell him that even SHE will admit that in the last six months, we can't really put our finger on it, but she has lost some ground... but then she will be 96 in a few weeks. He just nodded his head in agreement. I think it just is what it is. He said a little rise in the creatinine level was no big deal... and that she needs her Lasix... she has not had any swelling in the ankles, etc., in the last 6 months, and that's a good thing. I just do not know what to think about Dr. B.

So Greg and I have discussed it, and I am not even calling Dr. B's office back to tell them we aren't coming. Let them wonder. They won't! I told Dr. C that I had learned that I really have to watch Dr. B and some others and question everything, because I don't feel they are really paying attention to things. I don't think he was real happy to hear all of this. I mean, he has Mam-ma doing sooooo well, and they are just trying to screw things up, it seems. Maybe not, but it seems that way.

So, going and coming, as we passed Kroger, Mam-ma wanted to stop and get Tetley Tea. She LOVES Tetley Tea. She talked about it a lot... she wanted one box for her and one for her friend Ruby - Family Size! I told her that Kroger was on our way as we left, and we would stop. I asked, "So you want two boxes?" She thought a minute and said, "Well I tell you what... just get us each two boxes!" So, nearly $10 later and 4 boxes of Tetley Tea - Family Size - we were ready to roll. Mam-ma said, "I need to give Ruby some money for gas... I'll just give her that tea and say 'there's your gas'." I told her to give Ruby some MONEY, too! She tried to give ME $20 for gas for today, and I told her to give it to Ruby, and she said, "Well, she's a workin' for Gladys today so she will get $50." I told her, "that's good... she can have an extra $20... she takes you lots of places, and she deserves it!"

Good thing we ate lunch first - our appointment was 12:15, and we were 1:15 seeing Dr. C... and out of the office by 1:30!!! Mam-ma would have been weak as a dishrag by then. As it was, she was good and tired and ready to get home.

So today is beauty shop and grocery store, and Friday is "chicken foot" (domino game) at noon at Ruby's. Three cousins from Oklahoma have been trying to come stay a weekend with Mam-ma... they were here back in the summer... and they drug Mam-ma all over Cleburne/White County, to the dance two nights in a row, a gospel singing, and she even gave up her bed one night to them and slept on her couch so they could stay an extra night! She loved it and had a GREAT time, but she has not been the same since - and at times, she has been flat out sick. Of course, just after that is when she put up two bushels of purple hull peas and a bushel of green beans! The cousins had hoped to come this weekend, but Mam-ma just is not well enough. Mam-ma said she was going to insist they wait and come later. I suggested she have them come near her birthday, which isn't that far away. She thought that sounded good. I'm glad she is willing to tell them not to come now - she has too much else going on, and she is not well enough for company.

Oh, and while the nurse was drawing blood, she told Mam-ma that HER ear had been stopped up lately, and she cured it by putting peroxide and oil in it! Mam-ma is going to try that tonight. That is basically what is in the ear wax removal drops... peroxide in an oily base... so maybe that will help! Now I am to the point that I don't trust anything Dr. B has said or done... and Mam-ma insists her inhaler and Nasonex are not working, so maybe her ears just need a good cleaning! I hope this cough clears up soon... she has probably irritated her throat with those "coughing spells," but I can see when she coughs like that for several minutes how it does make her weak and wear her down. I'm just encouraging cough drops and cough syrup and keeping her throat lubricated.

Basically, the day went well overall. Mam-ma was content and did not complain or fuss at me, and it was a BEAUTIFUL early fall day... and of course, we got her tea! :-) I am hoping all is well today, and that "the knot" holds!

And They Say KIDS Say the Darndest Things!

If you have read the posts on this blog, you know that I drove 30 miles to take my grandmother for her pacemaker check back in June, only to find that the clinic no longer did pacemaker checks at that clinic on that day - they had forgotten to call us. Since we HAD driven 30 miles on gasoline that was almost $4 a gallon, the staff scrambled and found a tech who was shopping nearby, and she came and performed the check. All was well - or so we thought.

In August, we got a note to come to our local hospital for a pacemaker check. I phoned the clinic and asked why we needed another. The person on the other end of the line said, "Oh, I see she has not had a check since last November, and by law, we are required to do a pacemaker check every six months. We are making it more convenient for you by having you get this done at your local hospital." I replied, "But she DID have a check of her pacemaker - June 13th!" The girl shot back, "Well...... we have no record of that... it wasn't billed. That's amazing." Without thinking, I quipped, "No it's not!"

After some investigation, and an explanation by me of the mixup and not being notified not to drive 30 miles for a non-existing appointment - and how a young pregnant woman appeared to do the test - the woman said, "Oh, yes, I know her!" However, there was no record of our being in the clinic - no tape from the pacemaker, no report in the file, and of course, no billing! So, we were required to go for the check at our local hospital, which was no big deal. We went early and enjoyed a delicious meal in the cafeteria (one of the best eateries in our community, hands down!) and then we settled in the comfortable lobby of our new hospital to wait for our appointment.

As the technicians were checking my grandmother's pacemaker, the lead technician said, "Now, if you ever have any questions, please feel free to call me. You have my number. I travel a lot, so if I am not there, just leave a message and I promise, I will call you back." My grandmother looked up at her and said, "Well, I hope I never need to call you, because I don't like to talk on the telephone!" HELLOOOOOOO! This is the same woman who told me earlier in the summer when a storm knocked out her phone service at the pole that "that was the longest three days of my life!" I just didn't say a word. I am not sure I had a suitable comment for that one!

Kids MAY say the darndest things, but our elders can shoot back a few zingers of their own!

Same Old Story...

There is not much new to report. My grandmother has been in a whirlwind of activity with her vegetable freezing - peas and green beans (someone in her church brought her more than a bushel of green beans to string/snap, and another brought her figs for jam!) - and also some wormy apples in her neighbor's yard that she insisted on salvaging and freezing what was good. I guess she thinks she will starve this winter without these things. My freezer and my mom's both house the overflow of peas ... we may never need to buy purple hulls again! Now my grandmother most likely ASKED for all of this food, but why do people bring it... and certainly in a "raw" state? I would never take my grandmother anything that wasn't at least READY to cook, if not cooked and ready to eat.

I am seeing a steady decline in my grandmother, but I can't determine what is causing it... she complains of being tired and cold (although it is a zillion degrees outside in the Arkansas Ozarks summer!)... and she has definitely overdone it with too much activity of late. But still, she doesn't seem quite right - and she isn't thinking clearly at times - worse now than usual.

Last Saturday my cousin married, and my grandmother was considered a "grandmother of the bride" - although technically, she is only related by marriage to my grandfather. However, she looked like a million bucks in her carnation pink dress and jacket, vintage rhinestone earrings and matching beaded bag. She was given a corsage and escorted down the aisle to sit behind the bride's parents and treated like royalty. When I get photos, I will post some. She truly did look beautiful. And after the reception, she had my mother drop her off at a home downtown to visit a family reunion! I have no clue what time those folks finally took her home, so it's no wonder she is tired!

I am noticing more and more elderly men and women and observing how they handle daily living, and none seems to be trying to "conquer the world" like my grandmother. They pace themselves, get Meals on Wheels instead of cooking, and REST when weary. Today I am attending the 90th birthday party of my great-aunt Zula, a retired school teacher. Aunt Zula still lives alone, with a little bit of Home Health assistance and the help of a neighbor and her children and grandchildren. But she gave up cooking and relies on Meals on Wheels, and she is allowing her family and friends to do more and more for her so that she CAN continue to stay at home.

Yesterday, my grandmother's grocery list included salt pork, bologna, and a head of cabbage. I have no doubt she intends to fry the salt pork and cabbage, and I try not to think about the crackling grease that might spew and burn her tissue-paper-like skin. I also try not to envision her blanching peas and green beans in boiling water - or stirring the HEAVY saucepan of scalding candy for peanut brittle. My grandmother's biggest fear is having to return to the nursing home. Now if we can only convince her that in order to stay at home, she will have to chill out a little and let others do some things for her - and give up a few of the activities she so treasures, like cooking! Ah... if only it were that easy!

Summer Fun and Garden Veggies

It has been almost a week since we visited the doctor and determined that my grandmother had something that is "going around." The doctor wrote her a prescription for an antibiotic, and she growled. She said, "I wanted you to give me a shot and clear this mess up!" He said, "I'm going to do that, too!" So, she got a Kenalog shot and a prescription for Amoxil three times per day for 10 days! The doctor told her that these, along with an OTC cough syrup, would help, but she would cough for about 2-3 weeks when she talks or laughs. As he left the exam room, she grumbled, "Well, I sure didn't want to cough for 6 weeks." (Where did THAT come from?!) I told her he said 2-3 weeks, not six, and maybe it would be sooner.

So, she is still coughing, but not as much, and I can tell she IS better... although she told me yesterday her aide had told her she needed to see a doctor! I have my doubts that the aide said that... and she doesn't need to see a doctor now... she is BETTER!

Nobody loves a summer garden better than my grandmother. She is now telling people she is "nearly 96" - have you noticed that at some point people quit hiding their age and actually start to brag about it again?! Anyway, she has a little patch of garden in her back yard that a couple of people are "helping" her with - green beans, tomatoes, cucumbers, okra, and maybe a bell pepper or two. She talks about hoeing and watering the beans, and honestly, I have only seen them through a window, but they look beautiful. If ever anyone had a green thumb, it is my Mam-ma!

Last week, Mam-ma told me she was wanting some purple hull peas, and so far, she had not been able to locate any. There is a deacon in her church who has supplied her from his garden for years, but this year he didn't grow any. Did I mention he is about 86 or 87?! She asked me to watch the farmer's market and produce stands for purple hull peas. I stopped at my regular produce stand and bought her a sandwich-sized zip-loc bag of shelled peas - $3.50. She was tickled. She said she would "like to have a bushel if I could get them." I asked if that was shelled or unshelled, and she said "I could sit her and shell them." She said last year a bushel unshelled was about $20. So, I stopped again at the produce stand, and the man told me that he could have a bushel for me on Monday (this was Saturday). A bushel unshelled was $22 - shelled for $30, and he said you actually got more peas - 10 to 12 lbs. So I phoned my grandmother, and she said "Let's just buy the little bags." I pointed out they were much more expensive that way, and we were talking $8 between shelled and unshelled, so she said, "Okay, order a bushel shelled for $30." I did, and I assured the man I would be back on Monday to get the peas.

Yesterday morning, my grandmother called me... "have you gotten the peas yet?" Noooo... I told the man I would come in the afternoon. She laughed and said, "Well, my neighbor just brought me a half bushel to shell!" I told her I was sorry, but there was no way to cancel this order, so she would now have another bushel of peas. She said that would be okay, she guessed, and while she was freezing the ones she was shelling, she could freeze the others, too. To freeze peas, you have to gently boil them on the stove, then drain the water and plunge them into icy cold water - it's called "blanching" and kills any critters and bacteria before freezing. It's hot work... and hard work if you are 96, but she insisted on doing this! So, I took her the peas - a Wal-Mart style plastic bag FULL of peas... well more than she would have netted shelling her own.

As my mom points out... you can buy peas at the store - in a can or a freezer bag! My grandmother cooks about half of one of those sandwich bags of peas at a time, so at that rate, we will have peas for the rest of our lives! At least it has occupied her time for a few days... although any time she is using her stove like that, I cringe and pray she turns off all the burners completely when she is finished. So, if you need purple hull peas, you know who to call!

The "Lull" is Over!

Last Friday, my grandmother's cousins came to visit from Sallisaw, Oklahoma. There were 5 in all - four women and one husband. These are wonderful, sweet people who love my grandmother - her first cousin was their mother, and now that she is gone, they have sort of "adopted" my Mam-ma as their substitute mom. Two years ago, they even drove from Sallisaw (a 4+-hour trip one way) to get Mam-ma for their July 4th weekend, then drove her home. So, when they called a few weeks ago and said they were coming on Friday, Mam-ma was excited. She had me buy a pork roast at the grocery store, and she put it in the crock pot on Friday to cook all day for sandwiches. She made potato salad and cooked green beans. Her friend Ruby made a "coconut" cake for their dessert.

The cousins arrived around 7:00 p.m., and Mam-ma served dinner. Then they all loaded into the car and drove to the local dance hall, where my grandmother is a charter member, for some dancing! The next morning, they drove some 30+ miles to visit an old family home place and the adjoining cemetery. They also went to a farmer's market and who knows where else. That evening, they attended a local Gospel Singing event in our city park, and then they closed the dance hall!!! The cousins had planned to leave Saturday evening, but they were too tired, and at my grandmother's insistence, they all stayed with her. She even let the husband/wife have her bed, and she slept on the couch. To my mother's surprise, she attended church Sunday - both morning and evening, I think. I know she went that night.

So, it was no surprise to me that Monday when I telephoned her, she sounded like a man. Her voice was very hoarse, and no doubt, she was exhausted. She had told my mother as much earlier in the day. However, she told me she and her neighbor had taken their walk that morning about 6:30. Then her Home Health aide came and gave her a bath, and then her housekeeper came. She had watered her beans in the garden and filled the bird bath with water (she claimed "the birds were just a pantin'!), and she had peeled Granny Smith apples and put them in the freezer! Did I mention she will be 96 in November?

Today, I phoned my grandmother around noon to see what she would need tomorrow when we run errands and she gets her hair fixed. She said she was lying around and would call me back. She sounded fairly well. At 2:00 p.m., she phoned me, sounding once again like a man, and she started coughing into the phone and telling me she thought she might have to go to the doctor, "if this doesn't get better." I asked, "are you saying you want to go to the doctor tomorrow?" Well, she didn't know... cough, cough, cough. I asked what her aides had said about her, and she said, "Shelley said I needed to see the doctor!" I asked if she would feel like getting her hair done tomorrow, and she said, "Oh, yes... I've GOT to have that done!" So I told her I would call the doctor and see if I could get an appointment for tomorrow. She was coughing hard as we hung up.

The doctor is closed on Wednesday afternoons, so I didn't reach anyone. I phoned my grandmother, and after about 20 rings, she answered. I told her that there was nobody at the doctor's office this afternoon, and she said, "Well, I don't know if I ought to wait!" I was thinking, "great... she wants to go to the ER... I am NOT going to the ER for this!" I asked, "What are you saying?" She said, "Well, I don't want this to turn into pneumonia. I really think I need to go to the doctor." I had told her I would try again tomorrow morning to get her an appointment. I asked, "So you DO want an appointment tomorrow?" She said, "Well, Shelley said I should go, and your momma said I should go see the doctor." I asked when she had talked to Mom about this, and she said, "Well your momma called this morning, and she said 'You sound terrible,' and I told her 'Well, I FEEL terrible!' and she said, 'well, you need to go to the doctor!'" So I told her I would call the doctor on Thursday morning, and if there were no appointments, we might have to miss the beauty shop to get her in that afternoon. She said that was okay.

I phoned my mom, and she was astounded. She said she had called my grandmother around noon, and she was doing great... that she was feeling better! Mom said, "She has never coughed once while talking to me!" But, she agreed that it is best to take her to the doctor if she wants to go and cut my losses... and make sure there is no pneumonia. She said she did NOT mention a doctor to Mam-ma, and Mam-ma did NOT tell her she was terrible. So, I am left to wonder if this nasty coughing into the phone is for my benefit - and effect - or if she is genuinely having trouble. She told Mom she "got this Sunday night." We have a high mold count right now, so I am wondering if that is the culprit. Mom was pretty sure Mam-ma said she walked with her neighbor this morning!

So we will never know the truth, but it looks like "errand day" will include a doctor visit! I'll let you know how it goes.

Meanwhile, a friend of mine is dealing with the admission of her aunt to a nursing facility in Missouri this past weekend. The woman has been diagnosed with Alzheimers but was "covering well" until recently, when her sister visited for a month, and afterward she told a family member, "Some strange lady came and stayed a whole month in my house - wasn't that brazen of her?" The family realized that this lady could no longer live alone. She didn't go peacefully to the facility - in fact, a seatbelt is all that prevented her from trying to escape the car... she threw open the door but was strapped in and couldn't get free. Alzheimers is a truly ugly disease... and so heartbreaking.

So I guess when I consider what others are dealing with, I can handle a little nonsense from my grandmother who still seems to have most of her faculties on any given day!

Hang in there - keep pedaling!!!

The Savages

If you haven't seen the movie, The Savages, you might want to give it a look. I'll tell you now, it's quirky... and a bit over the top and "adult" in spots, but it deals with the issue of two siblings placing a parent in the nursing home... and their lives are already complicated. Juggling a personal life and this new responsibility is depicted as a challenge. I found the portrayal of the nursing home personnel to be extremely kind - maybe too generous (I don't recall someone always tucking my grandmothers in each night!) - but at least they were not made out to be cruel or overly unprofessional.

The other movie that touches on this topic is Away From Her, which deals with a woman (Julie Christie) who has Alzheimers - and her choice to go to a nursing facility - and how this decision affects her husband. It is sad and poignant, but a jolt of reality at the same time. It also has some light-hearted moments, and Olympia Dukakis has a starring role, which is always a plus in my book. I'll warn you - my mom didn't like the way it ended... and it did sort of seem to end "unfinished," but it is still worth seeing!

On the home front, things are about the same in my neck of the woods. My grandmother shows signs of decline, such as occasionally forgetting to take her medicine, but she is still gardening and cooking and living alone, attending church on Sunday, playing dominoes and going to shop and visit through the week, so what more can you ask for at 95+ years young?! I'm enjoying the relative "quiet" of this lull in activity, feeling fairly certain it won't last, but grateful for the time I am given. I hope things are going well for you... let me know the latest!

Be Sure to Read...

Please take time to read JJ's comments to the post "We're In a Lull" - I think you will relate on some level - and you might just get a chuckle or two along the way!

He also added in a side not to me: "I do sometimes feel like a bologna sandwich. A bologna sandwich does the best it can to make things better and give nourishment, but no one really appreciates it, and I think we have all felt that way.

I like the laughter quips you put in there. A good one I have loved since I first saw it, and you may have already used it but here it is anyway. LOL My mother was told about five years ago to walk at least five miles a day, so she did what the doctor said to do. Now we have no idea where she is."

Debbie